Humor

Make crazy money while still going to school with this one weird trick!

Getting a part time job at the University seems like a good idea, but you should avoid doing so at all costs. Here are three easy steps to make mega moolah in college! Read More

Seligman breaks ground on University of Rochester, Minnesota

"Today, we bring the spirit of Meliora to the Med City!" the parka-clad president began as he went to dig the foundation of Barnes & Noble Hall. Read More

New study finds majority of Eastman students are three chandeliers piled inside a trench coat

Professors are admitting that, in hindsight, the study’s findings should have been obvious from the start. Read More

Yellowjackets blow out Patriots in Super Bowl surprise

UR Football’s 76–3 victory over the New England Patriots at Super Bowl LIII last Sunday left everyone reeling from the improbable result. Read More

Jaeger uses Fortnite skin to relate to students

Despite purchasing the "Jaeger Primal Hunter" outfit, the professor has yet to rank in the top 75 of a 100-person game. Read More

Choose your own blizzard/nor’easter/geostorm

Use a SAD Lamp? Attend a wedding? Wear an obscenely expensive coat? Devour a classmate? In this Choose Your Own Adventure Game, it's all up to you! Read More

Student unaware exam mistakes are changing laws of the universe

The first-year’s eldritch ignorance first came to attention when a faulty use of the buoyancy equation sunk every vessel in the South China Sea. Read More

University shutdown continues

Debate over funding for the proposed campus border wall prolongs the ongoing University shutdown. Read More

Look on the Bright Side…

Luis visits Mariama in Valentine Tower one afternoon looking for motivation to study. He finds it, but in an unexpected way. Read More

Michael Bublé Emerges From Year-Long Hibernation In Egg To Judge Mankind

The 43-year old Canadian crooner was seen last Sunday dividing up a crowd of Vancouver Starbucks patrons by their moral purity. Read More