Humor
UR Joking
COVID-19 clocktower, a conspiracy we can all believe in
As an avid proponent of both intensive research and half of the conspiracy theories I just googled, I’ve decided to present UR with a new hypothesis: Walking under the clocktower will grant you the gift of COVID-19 antibodies. Read More
Narratives
Lake Ontario: shockingly bereft of crabs
So I went up to the lake, and ventured out onto the ice. A disclaimer: I know nothing about ice fishing. Read More
UR Joking
Top 10 quarantine phases, ranked
However, one incredibly prominent experience is reverting back to phases that we all experienced in the most formative years of our lives, such as in middle school. Thus, here, for your viewing pleasure, are 10 of the mid-quarantine phases, ranked and psychoanalyzed by yours truly. Read More
UR Joking
The real reason students returned to campus: The results will shock you
87% of on-campus respondents cite access to school WiFi, and with it, freedom from Duo authentication, as the most exciting part of on-campus life. Read More
Political Comedy
Email from a distraught, unvaccinated donor
Nobody told me there was a cutoff for illegal benefits, and it would have been nice to know considering my most recent donation of $150 and two black market kidneys seems to total only $5 net value under the apparent “official” vaccine “price.” Read More
Dr Chat Bot
Dr. Chatbot’s namesake: Jeremiah A. Chatbot III
When Jeremiah A. Chatbot III was just a young boy growing up in Brooklyn, his parents motivated him to do great things in life. Read More
Chicken
The human beauty of the internet
The world wide web is perhaps the most complete repository of human strangeness to ever exist. Read More
Cats
Study buddy cat-tastrophe
If you want to use this as a reference for studying with your own pets, go ahead, but keep in mind that your experience may be very different from mine. Read More
economics
Disobey the no-guest policy as an act of civil disobedience
I encourage the rest of campus to follow suit in my noble endeavor to stop the unjust laws governing our campus and really stick it to the man with me. Read More
Douglass
CT Eats: Douggie
I found some real delicacies there, and I’m honestly impressed... that I’ve been eating the same three things without ending up comatose. Read More