Humor

Fighting back against voter fraud

All my Facebook friends have now been informed, except for my grandson. He’s a communist because he told me that we should “count all the votes.” Read More

The world is ending, but not for me

Us students at UR are doing our best to adhere to the safety protocols, but in the shadows, under the premise of a study session, sometimes even the best of us long for the touch of another.  Read More

Gourds!

She explained, “For purely decorative gourds I’m a big fan of Tennessee dancing gourds, and bicolor egg gourds.” Read More

A closer look at the freshman BME major

The Hajim class operates primarily within the engineering quad and under piles of depression laundry in each organism’s respective dorm habitat. Read More

A day in the life of University middle management

If you consult the delegation guidebook, you’ll see that crises on River Campus are delegated to the Dean of the Faculty of Arts, Sciences, and Engineering. Read More

What to do with your pumpkins after Halloween

Do you think Wegmans is too bumpy? Throw a pumpkin at it. Mad that Genesee is so nice? Pumpkin. Wish Optikale were open? Goergen gets a pumpkin, too. Read More

A list of bathrooms

For those of us who suffer from IBS and UTS (Upset Tummy Syndrome), knowing where the best, cleanest, and most private bathrooms are is always a necessity. Read More

A President who will cut the malarkey!

The Biden transition team has put forward a platform, “We pledge in our first 100 days to abolish the scourge of malarkey in all of its forms.” Read More

Letter to the Editor: Tinder isn’t working for me

Maybe “I’ll make you feel like Donald Trump makes America feel” isn’t a great opening line. Read More

Southside spiders seriously spook Stella

Imagine my displeasure upon finding a gargantuan, lustrous-rumped, gangly-legged, octo-eyed, bitch-ass orb weaver staring at me from its tiny nest of butt string. Read More