Humor

Crimson Geese

. I’m always so curious to know what drives people to madness — to see just exactly what it was that chimmied a man’s changas. Read More

Down bad? Pick up a Yellowjacket with these punny lines

To help all my Yellowjackets who are looking to get stung by the love bug, here are some handy-dand-e-lion pick-up lines to help you out, just in case. Read More

Public Safety find secret mice cabal: Adderall for all

A secret adderall-slinging organization run by the mice that live in residential housing was uncovered this week by Public Safety officers. Read More

YoUR confessions are safe (with administration)

UR confessional pages have, unsurprisingly, become part of our school culture in the way that only chaotic, irresponsible, student-run programs can. Read More

Slim Goodbody is back, baby!

Slim Goodbody is the bane of worlds, and the conqueror of hearts and minds. He is enshrouded in fear, mystery, and a 4000 dollar costume. Read More

First-years officially classified as invasive species

Based on the first-years’ recent growth patterns, it is imperative to curb the first-year infestation before they take over Burton and Crosby as well. Read More

Does Jeff Runner even run? The answer may shock you!

We ran a poll, and, astoundingly, of the four people we asked, not  a single person reported having ever seen Jeffrey Runner run. Read More

Carnivorous dandelions are coming to campus

To cut down on the campus’ unmanageable yellowjacket infestation, a UR professor has released her research on breeding carnivorous dandelions. Read More

Long-line epidemic sweeping through campus; Line vigilantes rumored

That’s right — the line epidemic is sweeping across the UR campus with no signs of slowing down. Read More

UR not connected

WiFi has been disabled all day. Whatever. Not my problem. Maybe I’ll fix it tomorrow. Maybe not. Probably not. Read More