Humor

YoUR confessions are safe (with administration)

UR confessional pages have, unsurprisingly, become part of our school culture in the way that only chaotic, irresponsible, student-run programs can. Read More

Slim Goodbody is back, baby!

Slim Goodbody is the bane of worlds, and the conqueror of hearts and minds. He is enshrouded in fear, mystery, and a 4000 dollar costume. Read More

First-years officially classified as invasive species

Based on the first-years’ recent growth patterns, it is imperative to curb the first-year infestation before they take over Burton and Crosby as well. Read More

Does Jeff Runner even run? The answer may shock you!

We ran a poll, and, astoundingly, of the four people we asked, not  a single person reported having ever seen Jeffrey Runner run. Read More

Carnivorous dandelions are coming to campus

To cut down on the campus’ unmanageable yellowjacket infestation, a UR professor has released her research on breeding carnivorous dandelions. Read More

Long-line epidemic sweeping through campus; Line vigilantes rumored

That’s right — the line epidemic is sweeping across the UR campus with no signs of slowing down. Read More

UR not connected

WiFi has been disabled all day. Whatever. Not my problem. Maybe I’ll fix it tomorrow. Maybe not. Probably not. Read More

Breaking news: First-years still have a will to live

They are so full of hope it makes any upperclassman sick with the realization that they, too, were once full of bliss and a will to live. Read More

COVID-19 variants to form new fraternity

COVID Delta Lambda hopes to change the college experience for anyone attempting to get an education in the next decade (or eternity). Read More

A list of COVID-19-friendly pop-up requests

Although a healthy amount of UR students can subsist off of the sole resource known as “daddy’s money,” not everyone is that lucky. Read More