Humor
do the worm squirm
April showers… mean worm hours?
It’s a graveyard of fallen earthworm soldiers, and if you dare to blink while walking, you are liable to end up christening your new Nikes with Eau de Worm. Read More
conspiracy!
A message from David Byrne
Per the agreement, I would write, record, and perform a gesamtkunstwerk titled “American Utopia” in order to boost Americans’ faith in The Government. Read More
emp
EMP blamed for internet wipe out
On Thursday, an Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP) was detonated in the 3M stacks within Rush Rhees Library, effectively shutting down the Internet on River Campus. Read More
human sacrifice
Plans for Third New Religious Center Announced
A third center will now be joining their ranks — a building to facilitate the practice of the Harga. Read More
alumni funding
Alumni-funded religious centers to be built in place of Hoeing and Gilbert tree stumps
The three large remaining tree stumps mark where the Greenbaum Center for Jewish Life, the Catholic Newman Center Building, and the Harga Flower Center are to be built. Read More
artificial intelligence
Administration to dissolve CT in favor of AI
The new age of the CT will rely solely on artificially generated content to meet the needs of the student body. Read More
breach of journalistic integrity
Campus Times EXPOSED: Editors caught censoring real news, placing it in Humor
Editor-in-Chief Alyssa Koh has been working with University President Sarah Mangelsdorf to censor stories by placing them in the Humor section. Read More
April Fool's
Wilder Tower boards vandalized
As of Monday, March 13, some new boards have been installed as replacements. They are roughly a quarter of the original boards’ dimensions. Read More
April Fool's
Same soup, just reheated: the URTV soup story
“The main reaction was confusion.” What they really learned, adds Chang, is “before anyone can know anything, they always ask, ‘What flavor?’” Read More