Narratives
April Fools
I do, I don’t, I really don’t: The Marriage Pact story
Once again, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that this school is goddamn tiny, and do you really want to marry anyone you took Calculus with? Read More
crusade
My crusade against the UR parking office
I allowed my predator to believe I was prey — let them roam the jungle, beat their chest, and act like they could never be defeated. Read More
Geedis
Help, Geedis is leaking again
Geedis is softly whispering to you as you drift into sleep. There is a low growling sound coming from the trees. Will you do his bidding? Read More
finals season
POV: help
I can submit this on time. I will not be ready to submit this on time. The submit button stares back at me. I avert my eyes. Read More
eldritch taxes
The Taxman cometh
I know He is tempting me. The more I profit, the more he can take from me. Read More
do the worm squirm
April showers… mean worm hours?
It’s a graveyard of fallen earthworm soldiers, and if you dare to blink while walking, you are liable to end up christening your new Nikes with Eau de Worm. Read More
April Fool's
Wilder Tower boards vandalized
As of Monday, March 13, some new boards have been installed as replacements. They are roughly a quarter of the original boards’ dimensions. Read More
drug abuse
Drugging myself for fun and profit
I’m not a quitter anymore: I’m a starter. And I’m starting right now. Drugs, that is. Read More
pandemonium
Dozens pharbified in Eastman Quad terror attack, WRUR suspected culprit
All that could be heard was the sound of Phoebe Bridgers’s “Funeral,” distorted by the wind and the just-audible sobs of pharbified students crying in the bushes. Read More
Gourds
The Gourds of Wrath
You frighten me, Mr. Pumpkin. Your violent delights can only meet violent ends. Read More
