Archive: Mar 2001
Story D:
You have chosen wisely!!! Professors from the psychology department recently decided to give their students more choices on exams. Complaining that the answers on psychology exams are too obtuse, freshman Pete S. Sake claims, ?They give you A through E as answers, but half the time, most of the answers are, like, all the same. […]
The Floundering Fairies
It?s time for the annual jump in the Genesee River with the Floundering Fairies Sunday, April 1 at 3 p.m.The Floundering Fairies, UR?s all female synchronized swim team, is renowned for its extravagant show that celebrates the coming of spring to the Rochester area in the rusty brown, chemically tainted river.?We have ten swimmers who […]
Story G:
Now that this new choice plan has spread across campus, administrators have decided to jump on the heavily ticketed and booted bandwagon and provide some choice for graduating seniors.This May, members of the Class of 2001 will be able to decide whether their diplomas will be designed in a traditional style or in a new […]
Victoria?s Secret for men
Victoria?s Secret has recently announced its agreement with the Department of Athletics and Recreation to be the official sponsor of the football team. This popular clothing company has decided that the football players would be a great addition to the new advertising campaign for its novel lingerie line. Its slogan ? ?Body by Victoria ? […]
Story F:
See, now you?re just lying. You know you want a better parking spot, fewer tickets and a little courtesy. But, once again, choice can only fix some things in life, and River Campus parking ain?t one of them. Walk, don?t drive, to Story G, page 12.
What the hell is this tournament for, anyway?
With the success of the ?Charity Challenge? 3 on 3 basketball tournament this past weekend, another competition is currently being planned. Instead of raising money for the World Education Fund for Women, this competition, ?Hoopin? it up for Housing,? will have its proceeds go towards the freshmen housing experiment next year.?People don?t realize the added […]
Fashion model of the century
Class of (insert year)Sports Information DirectorBorn in a small (insert noun), Dennis always had visions of knowing every UR statistic since the dawning of this (insert adverb) university. If you ever see Dennis ask him about anything having to do with sports ? and he?ll respond with a long but precise answer to your inquiry.Not […]
From Her Box
In my eyes, the words ?sports? and ?athletics? are such vague terms. Despite the loose definitions, we only associate certain words with those categories. For example, we can all agree that basketball, soccer, volleyball and even mud-wrestling are activities that fall under sports and recreation. I am here to propose that we add another one […]
We love talking about PORN
Viewing pornography has enjoyed a long history on our campus, because of both the traditional campus-wide showing of an X-rated movie every spring, as well the fact that so few students here ever get any action. While viewing porn may be commonplace on this campus, making a porn is rather unusual. Once again, the UR […]
Story E
Yeah right, like we can really get everything we want in life. Come back to reality, fella. That?s right, you?re getting closer, closer. There, you?ve found it! It?s right next to your car, parked at Towne House. Hike back to campus and proceed toStory F