You have chosen wisely!!! Professors from the psychology department recently decided to give their students more choices on exams.

Complaining that the answers on psychology exams are too obtuse, freshman Pete S. Sake claims, ?They give you A through E as answers, but half the time, most of the answers are, like, all the same. They need to be more clear. I think they may just be messing with us, to be honest.?

In response to complaints such as these, all psychology students will be treated to questions with answers A through Q from now on.

With so many choices, there will never be any confusion as to what the professor is looking for. Whether anyone will be able to finish these new exams remains to be seen.

Realizing there may be something to this choice phenomenon sweeping the River Campus, Parking Services has decided to give students more parking options.

Sick of hearing students complain that there isn?t enough good parking on campus, one parking official noted, ?We really want to create a better relationship between Parking Services and students.?

If you think creating more parking options for students is a good idea, see Story E, Page 10.

If you think parking is fine the way it is, see Story F, Page 11.



Putting through the patriarchy: The golf club bias exposed

And while some may argue that there’s no harm in women taking up the sport in an attempt to “keep up with the guys,” the very fact that such expectations even exist speaks volumes about the barriers we’re still expected to navigate.

Pesto is sus

This guy is twice as large as any of his siblings and even larger than his parents. He is anything but a little guy. His stature is … actually a little bit suspicious.

UR Women’s soccer beats University of Chicago 3–1

UR women’s soccer defeated the University of Chicago (UC) Maroons by a score of 3–1 on Saturday, Oct. 5 at Fauver Stadium.