You have chosen wisely!!! Professors from the psychology department recently decided to give their students more choices on exams.

Complaining that the answers on psychology exams are too obtuse, freshman Pete S. Sake claims, ?They give you A through E as answers, but half the time, most of the answers are, like, all the same. They need to be more clear. I think they may just be messing with us, to be honest.?

In response to complaints such as these, all psychology students will be treated to questions with answers A through Q from now on.

With so many choices, there will never be any confusion as to what the professor is looking for. Whether anyone will be able to finish these new exams remains to be seen.

Realizing there may be something to this choice phenomenon sweeping the River Campus, Parking Services has decided to give students more parking options.

Sick of hearing students complain that there isn?t enough good parking on campus, one parking official noted, ?We really want to create a better relationship between Parking Services and students.?

If you think creating more parking options for students is a good idea, see Story E, Page 10.

If you think parking is fine the way it is, see Story F, Page 11.



Story D:

As recently as the early 2010s, it was standard practice for surgeons to provide 30 to 40 or more opioid pills for common, minimally invasive procedures. Most of these pills, however, would remain untouched, left over in the patient’s medical cabinet or kitchen pantries for potential misuse. A team of researchers led by URMC’s Dr. Jacob Moalem set out to reduce these opioid overprescriptions. Read More

Story D:

For graduated senior Helen Jackson, who hadn’t been able to go home for breaks for the past two years, these last few months have been a much-needed break. “I’m moving halfway across the country in July for my PhD program, so I probably won’t be able to come home very often after this,” she said. Read More

Story D:

President and senior Mennatallah “Mennah” Mohamed shared that this dinner was a “time to highlight how Arab culture is so interconnected.” Read More