Now that this new choice plan has spread across campus, administrators have decided to jump on the heavily ticketed and booted bandwagon and provide some choice for graduating seniors.

This May, members of the Class of 2001 will be able to decide whether their diplomas will be designed in a traditional style or in a new ?Proof of Purchase? design.

This new diploma, or receipt, as it will now be called, will come complete with a 90-day money-back guarantee.

In case your degree doesn?t yield a job within this period, you may return your receipt to UR as payment for your unpaid parking tickets, totaling $120K in early Y2K U.S. dollar value, before the market headed south.

Don?t like your new options here at UR? You could always leave. But that?s up to you.

MERT: Don’t be afraid to call

The River Campus Medical Emergency Response Team (RC MERT) has been back in business since 2022 following their year-long pause,…

A Note for Elena: I love having my words twisted

Nowhere in my article did I say men couldn’t be feminine, wear pastel colors, or dresses. But the article wasn’t about men. It was about why I loved being a woman.

Sophomore Joey Stempien starts small with his big band

Every Thursday of this semester, you can hunt down sophomore Joey Stempien and his friends at the East Avenue restaurant (and well-known college student sustenance staple) Stromboli’s.