Now that this new choice plan has spread across campus, administrators have decided to jump on the heavily ticketed and booted bandwagon and provide some choice for graduating seniors.

This May, members of the Class of 2001 will be able to decide whether their diplomas will be designed in a traditional style or in a new ?Proof of Purchase? design.

This new diploma, or receipt, as it will now be called, will come complete with a 90-day money-back guarantee.

In case your degree doesn?t yield a job within this period, you may return your receipt to UR as payment for your unpaid parking tickets, totaling $120K in early Y2K U.S. dollar value, before the market headed south.

Don?t like your new options here at UR? You could always leave. But that?s up to you.



A letter to the editor: abortion is healthcare

The ethical necessity for abortion is not up for debate. Bodily autonomy and the right to choose whether to carry a pregnancy to term is a human right.

Birding club takes flight

Birding Club has realized what the vast majority of onlookers have known for quite some time: These birds are fucking lame.

A look into 2023 sorority recruitment

Recruitment is a time of both confusion and excitement, both from those who choose to rush and those who do not, but this period also included learning and adjustment on the sides of Panhellenic executive members and sisters participating in running recruitment as well.