Victoria?s Secret has recently announced its agreement with the Department of Athletics and Recreation to be the official sponsor of the football team.

This popular clothing company has decided that the football players would be a great addition to the new advertising campaign for its novel lingerie line.

Its slogan ? ?Body by Victoria ? turns even jocks into sex symbols.?

As sponsor, the company would be responsible for designing the team?s new uniform in the upcoming season. It plans to incorporate its recent successful product ? the push-up bra ? into the get-up.

Even the mascot will be able to show off a yellow and blue version of the bra during the season opener in September.

?We are still going to keep some of the padding in the current uniforms,? said Victoria?s Secret vice president and super-model Lovita Loca.

?We?re are just going to shift the padding to accentuate areas that could use some highlighting.?

UR Athletic Director George VanderZwaag expressed his extreme enthusiasm for this business venture.

?We have been trying to seal this deal for the last two years,? VanderZwaag said. ?I?m just happy that we finally get designer uniforms that the team can sport when it wins the NCAA.?

?Besides, there is no better way to protect the players from all the impact they endure during games,? he continued. ?The bras not only look good, but they also feel really comfortable.

?Sometimes, I don?t even understand what women are complaining about,? VanderZwaag added.

Unlike VanderZwaag, head coach Mark Kreydt is not happy about the change. He thinks that the extra attention given to the players? bodies will be a distraction to their game.

?My players are here for one purpose and one purpose only,? Kreydt said. ?They are here to win football ? not to win girls.?

However, Kreydt agrees that the push-up bra will have its benefits.

?I know that my players are going to feel a type of confidence that they have never felt before,? he said.

Many players are a little hesitant to show off their assets.

They are worried that they will not live up to expectations.

Some feel the opposite, fearing that some girls will be intimidated after comparing body parts.

?We don?t want the girls to get jealous ,? senior captain Lance Ramer said. ?I know that some of them can get really sensitive about size.

?But I do like the feeling of satin against my skin,? he added. ?I just don?t like when I enjoy it too much and it shows.?

Whether the players enjoy it or not, the new uniform is in the works, and Victoria?s Secret promises to draw record crowds next season.

Admissions Director Jamie Hobba is clueless.



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