UR Joking

Carnivorous dandelions are coming to campus

To cut down on the campus’ unmanageable yellowjacket infestation, a UR professor has released her research on breeding carnivorous dandelions. Read More

Long-line epidemic sweeping through campus; Line vigilantes rumored

That’s right — the line epidemic is sweeping across the UR campus with no signs of slowing down. Read More

Breaking news: First-years still have a will to live

They are so full of hope it makes any upperclassman sick with the realization that they, too, were once full of bliss and a will to live. Read More

A list of COVID-19-friendly pop-up requests

Although a healthy amount of UR students can subsist off of the sole resource known as “daddy’s money,” not everyone is that lucky. Read More

Email from admin: Students must get positive COVID-19 test for the fall

In order to accommodate these students, we have decided to lock you all into Strong Auditorium and pump infected air through the vents. Read More

Sober (and depressing) D-Day alternatives to drinking

With this year’s Dandelion Day (D-Day) now over, some students may feel they didn’t get the most out of it. Many did, of course, get plastered in accordance with the time-honored Rochester tradition. Read More

‘Dumb Ways To Die’: Rochester edition

When you’d do anything to finish the semester immediately, that suspiciously undercooked chicken from the Pit doesn’t start to look half bad. Read More

Pro-global warming campus club launched in response to cold spring

Stuple is hoping these efforts will be enough to “scare the mean cold weather away” so he can “finally start working on his summer tan.” Read More

What to do with your end-of-semester declining

Instead of scrambling to spend all of your (not-so) hard-earned declining on junk food from Hillside, here are some alternatives. Read More

Best places to have a semi-public breakdown on campus

We no longer need to wonder if people are lying when they say they’re fine. We know they’re not fine, and neither are we. Read More