Humor
Humor
Halloween costume power rankings
Now that another season of the beloved Hallows Eve has passed, it’s time to look back on the best and the worst of this year’s costumes. After all, the only thing sweeter than dressing up to release your inner witch, vampire, slutty kitten or guy-trying-to-get-away-with-not-wearing-a-costume is knowing that you’re beating everyone else in the grand […]
Humor
nited States government thinks forward, chooses not to shut down
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In breaking news this week, the government made a landmark decision to not shut down. Political spectators across the country simultaneously unclenched as they were once again relieved to hear that the inherent stubbornness and selfishness of elected officials still does not extend beyond the loss of their paychecks. However, don’t be fooled into […]
Humor
Marxist scholars uncover long-forgotten ‘Rom-Communist Manifesto’
Karl Marx is generally known for the economic theories he promulgated, which led to authoritarian regimes around the world, and to the Cold War. But, recent British scholarship has shown that the bearded revolutionary had a lighter side as well. Specifically, excavation at the British Museum Reading Room has uncovered a manuscript which modern scholarship […]
Humor
How to score a 4.0
What would you do for a 4.0? At the University of Rochester, we pride ourselves on answering that question with immediacy and almost disturbing bluntness. “What wouldn’t I do? Whatever I have to do. I’m serious, nothing is beneath me.” These grades serve as our validation and livelihood. They are why so many of us […]
Humor
Chafee pleased by debate performance
LAS VEGAS—A smile ran across democratic presidential candidate Lincoln Chafee’s face as he came to a bold realization: this question was for him. Debate moderator Anderson Cooper had called on the former Rhode Island governor to share his opinion on climate change at the Democratic presidential debate Tuesday night. Chafee’s face lit up; like a […]
Humor
Professor ends class based on own watch
The clock was quickly ticking. The second hand was counting down to the nearest minute. Professor Sneebly had a decision to make. The options were clear: stop lecturing at 12:17, and let his class out early as three-forths of the students packed their bags or end class on his own terms. The decision had been […]
Humor
A ‘New Girl’ you can’t get enough of
One of the most crucial elements of college living is to experience every aspect of it in excess. Whether it’s food, drink, studies, certain people, or certain seasons (nobody is looking forward to you, winter) we at UR know how to maximize our intake past the line of what is “healthy” or “sane.” Chief among […]
Humor
Your freshman hall: a love story
After weeks—like, literally, weeks—of waiting, the cute boy on your hall asks you out. You know the one I mean. You’ve had your eye on him since that hall program during orientation week. The one with all of the icebreakers and free snacks? But, more importantly, the one where you found out that he, too, […]
Humor
The coffee grind
Have you ever wanted to get a coffee in the morning without having to wait in a line that queues all the way to the Genesee River? Me neither. You may be thinking at this point, “Oh yeah. I remember having to wait outside Starbucks yesterday morning when the line was not quite to the […]
Humor
Stressful, stressless stress: The opposite of stress
Stress: stress is stressful. That’s a given. However, have you ever thought about the converse, a life with limited stress or even no stress? The absence of stress sounds great, but is it really what it is jazzed up to be? It seems unfathomable that the absence of stress could actually create stress. The only […]
