LAS VEGAS—A smile ran across democratic presidential candidate Lincoln Chafee’s face as he came to a bold realization: this question was for him. Debate moderator Anderson Cooper had called on the former Rhode Island governor to share his opinion on climate change at the Democratic presidential debate Tuesday night. Chafee’s face lit up; like a dog wagging his tail on the way to a local park, he turned red and tried not stumble over his words in excitement.

This question was easy; climate change is bad, and Chafee knew it, too! With the butterflies fluttering away in his stomach, he eagerly replied, “Climate change is not good.” Cooper and the rest of crowd watching the debate agreed with Chafee. He got the question right and, more importantly, people were listening to him; an accomplishment indeed.

“I’m so glad people were listening to me,” Chafee said, while reflecting on the debate. “It was so exciting with all the lights and people. I think I made a couple mistakes, but I definitely tried my best.” This man deserved a pat on the back indeed.

Chafee, whose 0.3 percent of the polls currently equals the margin of error of said polls, is optimistic that he can break into full integers at the heels of this performance. “I think it takes off from here. The sky is the limit!” Chafee proclaimed, peering over his shoulder and around the room for whoever might be in ear’s reach.

“It can only go up from here,” Chafee said in some of his parting words. Not much is sure for Chafee’s presidential future, but that much can universally be agreed upon: it can only go up from here.

D’Antona is a member of the class of 2016.

 



The Freshman Guide to Making Friends

Walk up to someone, get on your knees, and shout, “PLEASE BE MY FRIEND!!!” Bonus points if you start hysterically sobbing.

Oppenheimer: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the IMAX

I'd also like to make a bet here. I will not see a movie this year that is better than this fantastic story that Nolan was able to tell.

MAG exhibition “Beyond Beauty” confronts visitors with what they don’t want to see

"Beyond Beauty" portrays humanity as less-than-perfect in the traditional sense: Body Horror; Witch, Mother, Crone; The Wages of Sin; and Social Ills.