Humor

Pawlicki hopes to regain ‘Most Reviled’ title

“Last week I was still considered the most repugnant person on campus. Now? I can’t even get sneered at in the hallway.” Read More

The difficulties of living in Genesee Hall

You would think Genesee Hall to be perfect, but it actually has more problems than any of the others. Even the freshman quad. Read More

Night King repairs weather machine

“It seemed perfect,” Seligman said. “This guy has winter trademarked, so if anyone could fix Rochester’s weather, it’s the Night King." Read More

Picolas Cage and the Chamber of Secrets

Faced with the real Nicolas Cage trapped in a life-sized pickle, I asked the cinematic legend what I could do to help. Read More
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Picolas Cage

As a true Nicolas Cage fan, I know in my heart of hearts that the Picolas Cage is real. Read More

Trump’s unofficial first 100 days

Despite many outlets characterizing his tenure so far as an unusually unproductive, Donald Trump has actually been successful in fulfilling most of his “unofficial” first-100-days checklist. Read More

Confessions of a javelineer

Yes, I participate in running aimlessly in an oval. However, I have a talent that you might not ever guess just by looking at me. I throw the javelin. Read More

D-Day outdoes D-Day

"It was quiet until 8:00 a.m., when a distant rumble suddenly became an overwhelming earthquake and a barrage of students seized the area.” Sound like 1945? It was actually last Friday. Read More

Ode to Joel

Is this the real Joel? Is he just fantasy? Caught in a landslide of UR hilarity. Read More

Toddler detective, chapter 9

Against the best of my still-developing judgment, I decided to keep doing the only thing I know how to do in this crazy world—sleuthing. Read More