Editor’s Note: Sung to the tune of “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
Is this the real Joel?

Is he just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide

Of UR hilarity.

 

Open your eyes,

Look up to the skies,

And scream.

 

I’m just a poor ‘Jacket,

I need a job quickly,

‘Cause it’s not easy come, easy go;

Cost of textbooks,

Here we go.

 

Any way the snow blows,

I will freeze my fingers off,

You’ll see.

The breeze.

 

Joel raised tuition.

Sent an e-mail out to us,

Said it’s not a real big fuss.

Joel, school had just begun,

But now I have to raise

How much I pay.

 

Joel, oooh!

I memed you on the fly,

If I’m not back again,

We’re filled with sorrow,

We’ll carry on, enroll for class,

Because UR really matters.

 

Too late,

Smash Mouth can’t come.

Screams running through our minds,

Tears are streaming all the time.

Goodbye, my D-Day dream, they’ll have to go.

Got to leave them all behind and face the truth.

 

Joel, oooh.

Where’s UR newest song?

Sometimes I wished I’d never heard you in Strong.

 

I see a little silhouetto of a man.

Scaramouche, scaramouche, it looks like Joel Seligman.

Thunderbolts and lightning from the weather machine, eek!

Dewey Hall (Lattimore)

Bausch and Lomb (Morey Hall)

Rush Rhees

The Eastman Qua-a-a-d!

 

I’m just a law geek, I will take his class.

He’s just a law geek, from the Residential Quad

Please let him take the President’s class!

 

Easy class, easy A. Can I overload?

We must say no! You cannot overload!

Take my appeal!

Will not approve!

My appeal!

Not approve!

Appro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ove!

 

O Mamma Mia, Mamma Mia! Mamma Mia, OBOC’s show!

 

The Wi-Fi here has some trouble put aside for me, for me, for me-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!

 

So you think you can stop me and feed me Mel Sauce?

So you think you can love us and charge a high price?

Oooh, Joel! Won’t you listen to me Joel!?

Just gotta spend less,

Just gotta spend less declining!

 

You still really matter.

Everyone can see.

You still really matter.

You can make stuff happen.

For we.

 

(Anyway the snow blows!)

Tagged: Seligman


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