Humor
British “people”
Available now, for a limited time: Pig Syrup
The fact that this market hasn’t been tapped yet astounds me. There are so many reasons to transform into a pig! Read More
applejack
Dam Funny: A Review of “Hundreds of Beavers” – North America’s Largest Rodent Takes Center Stage
Our protagonist awakes in shoulder-deep snow. He is alone, without any worldly possessions. His applejack business is as good as gone. Read More
Clickbait
I SAW A MAN IN THE WOODS (CLICKBAIT!!!!)
You are an absolute buffoon. I’m crying from laughing as I type this, just imagining your dumbfounded face. How could you fall for this? Read More
Geedis
Review: The Land of Ta Season 1, Episode 18: “Where’s Geedis?” (1981)
You silly! Geedis cannot be killed. He is old. Older than the Sun and the Moon. And yet he is amiable, and a friend to everyone. You silly! Read More
comic
The Monkeys of Meliora Hall
Have you heard of the monkeys in the basement of Meliora Hall? Ever wonder what antics they get up to in the wee hours of the night? Read More
cars
Rust, Rude Remarks, and Waterlogged Trunks: The Northwest Auto Mall Nightmare
At no point did he utter the phrase “New York State Inspection,” and the vehicle failed to display an inspection sticker. Read More
Climate Change
Geophysicists debut model of donut-shaped Earth
Improvements to geophysical mathematics has led to a stunning new revelation: Our Earth is actually a torus. The Global Geophysicists Group (GGG) recently presented a new model for mapping the planet, including a staggering three-line proof describing the torical nature of Earth — a fancy sciency way of referring to donuts. While apparently more shapely […]
food
Shrimp fried rice?
Shrimp fried rice: an age-old mystery. Is it fried rice containing shrimp? Or is it fried rice made by shrimp? I know, I know, you’ve seen the debate before. You, dear reader, are sitting there questioning what I, a humble college student, could possibly have to add to that well-argued debate. And that’s valid. Experts […]
April Fools
Eclipse Portends Humanity’s Descent Back Into the Dark Ages
By: Rachel UnCaren Rochester officials are bracing for our latest descent into the dark ages, when God next deigns to blot out the Sun in early April. In a stunning rebuke of atheism, the Lord Himself will intervene in mortal affairs to briefly roll a sphere in front of another, larger sphere, in a game […]
April Fools
The Catholic Times Presents: ‘Ulysses’ by James Joyce, Part I
We are proud to introduce our new fiction serial, “The Catholic Times Presents,” which will feature history’s greatest novels in weekly portions. Read More
