Archives - CT Staff
Why can't I eat on campus after 9 p.m. on a weeknight?
We really don't know. Recent attempts to recover food from the Pit have been completely unsuccessful. On various nights in the past week we've been unable to get eggs or ketchup from the Grill, Roast Beef, Tomatos or Meatballs from Blimpies, any pizza or a soft drink as there was no carbonation. We (in the […]
Modern art revealed sa hoax, prank gone wrong
The modern artists of the world, at a recent gallery opening in Chicago's Museum of Contemporary Art, merely displayed a huge sign reading "April Fools."Art critics immediately hailed the work as "one of the greatest accomplishments of our time." A press conference was held by the artists responsible in order to explain the work."We aren't […]
Pied Piper's latest album very tempting
Not often do I get the chance to sit back, relax and listen to some good tunes. The hardest thing to find these days is soft and mellow instead of rough and abrasive.The Pied Piper's album, "Songs To Swindle Towns By," is a nice mix of mellow woodwinds with a more contemporary style.It was almost […]
First amendment sucks
While the first amendment gives people the freedom to say just about anything they want to, there are often drawbacks to this right, especially when it comes to printing "The Hawaiian Whannabe." Sure, it's great when we want to criticize the government, or suggest changes to better society, but when The Once Upon a Times […]
Prince Charming revealed
So often all we hear about Prince Charming is that he saves a princess and then lives with her happily ever after. Has anyone noticed one terribly disturbing factor about Prince Charming ? he sleeps with royalty in at least a half a dozen stories.Do you think that there are multiple Prince Charmings? No ? […]
Prophecy
Aries (March 21?April 19) ? Once upon a time you were cute and bunny-like. Don't be worried, my child. No longer. Get over it. And you will live unhappily ever after.Taurus (April 20?May 20) ? Once upon a time you were a wonderful prince. Don't be worried, my child. A gorgeous woman will kiss you […]
A ball is had by all at the big ball
Once upon a time in a land far, far away Star Wars happened. However, last week in Wilson Commons the "coming out" ball for Prince Charming went on. Did it ever.Everyone who was anyone was there and the dresses were to die for. The night began with an introduction from His "Royal" Highness, Thomas Jackson […]
*NSYNC gives masterclass, sings at Eastman
Once upon a time, James Undercofler and other members of Eastman's administration came to the conclusion that Eastman students were headed in the wrong direction."We've been walking blindfolded for decades," Undercofler said in a recent interview. "It's about time we wise up and look at what sells.""Eastman students are wasting their time with classes like […]
Get Out: Of your damn room!
This week's Get Out is directed especially at freshmen. The event is being held in and outdoors, for the rest of time, completely free. The event is called "leaving your room," and is intended to make freshmen aware of the wide expanses of the campus beyond the frat and residential quads."Essentially, there is more of […]
How to meet your prince or princess
We all grew up with Disney's vision of what love is like, but if you want to snag a prince or princess, you're going to have to work for it. In today's day and age, the market for available royalty is tight. You've got to have a competitive edge. Here's how you get that special […]