We all grew up with Disney’s vision of what love is like, but if you want to snag a prince or princess, you’re going to have to work for it. In today’s day and age, the market for available royalty is tight. You’ve got to have a competitive edge. Here’s how you get that special something with some ingenuity and a little magic.
To find your prince:
The most important thing is to be mysterious. Many women have gone to great lengths ? hiding themselves away in towers, hiding their royal status and working as kitchen maids, even sleeping until a prince comes to wake them up ? to seem unattainable to potential husbands, and it usually works.
Second, leaving little clues around will help too, so stock up on rings you can drop into bowls of soup, and be prepared to lose a shoe or two. Hey, no one said finding your soul mate would be without sacrifice.
Looking good is key. There’s nothing like a dress that shines like the sun, or a pair of glass slippers to really attract a prince’s attention. Sure, sure, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it helps if who he’s beholding is a real knockout.
It helps to have some assistance in your search. Finding true love is a big job, and it can be tough to do it alone. Look for a kindly fairy godmother or a few dwarves to help you out. Sure you may have to cook and clean for them ? in the case of the dwarves ? but they will try to keep you from harm and can help you find your dream man. Oh, and never accept apples from strangers.
Most importantly, keep your options open. Many girls dream of a stereotypical Prince Charming who will one day arrive at their doorstep to sweep them off their feet, but sometimes true love can come in other forms. So be open to dating a few beasts and kissing a few frogs, and this may be the way to find the love of your life.
To find your princess:
If you believe everything you hear, it seems like there’s thousands of princesses just lying in wait for some prince to come and carry them away.
If only it were that easy. Times they are a’changing, and nowadays princesses are liberated. Often, they’re not sitting by the window to wait for a man to come and get them.
In some cases this may work out in your favor, because they could be out actively looking to find you, their dream man. But this also means you may have to work harder to stand out among your competition. Here are a few helpful hints that will set you on the right track.
First, make sure you camp out in the usual princess hangouts. You know about all of them ? just go looking for towers where they lock up beautiful maidens, or houses filled with ugly women who hide their prettier stepsister away in the kitchen. Often the dirty, smelly hardworking girls who are hiding in the shadows end up being the true royalty.
Second, search the highest towers, farthest forests and deepest dungeons. The best ones are always the hardest to find. Keep looking though.
Lastly, a white horse has always been a classic accessory, and no good prince should go without one. Other important props are a heart of gold, and a below average intelligence. After all, what thinking man would want Cinderella’s stepmother for an in-law?
Any charming prince following this advice should have no trouble finding the love of his life.
