Uncategorized
"UR a Drag"
If you thought the May Room was just for blood drives, think again. The Pride Network and Sigma Delta Tau Sorority will be hosting their second drag show this year on Friday, April 5th, at 8 p.m. in the May Room of Wilson Commons."The show will have special events and occurrences you'll tell your grandchildren […]
Track strong in outdoor debut
After the results of last weekend, maybe the track team should continue to practice indoors even when they have the chance to go outside.The men's and women's track teams were lucky enough to escape the dismal upstate New York weather last weekend, traveling to Mary Washington College in warm and sunny Fredericksburg, Va. to compete […]
Obitchuary
Obitchuary
Sass the Frass
Sass the Frass
THIS IS SLANDEROUS…april fools
Being the subject of a story in the April Fools' edition of the CT has opened me up to huge criticism and embarassment. I can't even leave my room anymore without being harrassed. I sit in my room all day and cry, look at porn, and listen to O-town MP3's now that my good name […]
Green fires all, takes command
Dean of The College has taken on three new positions at The College after firing Director of Residential Life Logan Hazen, interim Dean of Students at The College Jody Asbury and Professor of Political Science Gerald Gamm. The firings bring the total number of fired employees to 86 this week."THEY ALL FOUND BETTER POSITIONS ELSEWHERE. […]
Rash of vigils sweeps through UR campus
Once upon a time a memorial vigil was held for leaving UR administrators.The event was presented by the Committee for Cool Administration at Upstate New York Colleges. "The whole UR community was just enraged and we wanted to offer some healing with this memorial service," President of CCAUNYC and Provost Charles Phelps said.The vigil began […]
UR makes tuition ree for everyone
Tuition will be eliminated for students attending The College and School of Nursing. The move was an about-face for UR, who for years has increased tuition inexorbantent amounts in the past 15 years, stealing your money.Once apon a time, President Thomas Jackson announced the change with a one-sentence statement. "It's a party and everyone's invited," […]
Security mistaken in Little Red Riding Hood incident
Once upon a time, UR security reversed its previous statement that a person found intoxicated at the Sigma Epsilon Chi fraternity house was a 14-year-old girl known as "Little Red Riding Hood." Upon further investigation the suspect was found not to be wearing a red cap, and was not little, even by the farthest stretches […]
Beatle hangs out in Wilson Commons
Assistant Director of Student Activities George Morrison has left the university to embark on an international tour after revealing to the UR community that he is, in fact, George Harrison, the youngest Beatle."Despite my fatherly appearance and cute pattern baldness, I really am George Harrison," Morrison said, while noodling on his sitar. "Why doesn't anyone […]