UR Joking

Groundhog Day

as per the groundhog way of life, students will be required to return to their dorms immediately after the ceremony and hibernate until the first dandelion (a groundhog’s delicacy) sprouts from the ground. Read More

‘Well-informed’ opinion once again submitted without any sources

In a society full of rampant misinformation and blatantly biased news sources, the Campus Times is proud to work with extremely well-researched opinion articles that are submitted without any references to sources. Read More

New pillow is ultra Meliora

With the help of our P.I., we’re working on making the Pillow versatile enough to handle the emotional and physical weight of crying, pissing, and shitting as well. Read More

Flirting with your hiring managers

If you’d allow me the pleasure of gracing the hallowed halls of your esteemed company, it would endear me greatly. Read More

The first gifting games of Black Friday

It’s that time of year again: Black Friday. Read More

Life-changing scam emails

Navigating the world of scam emails can be complex, but once you learn the ropes on how to maximize the dopamine rushes from these emails, your life will be changed forever. Read More

Accepting our new Rabbit Overlord

The day that she learned she could hop from the floor to his chair to his bed was the day she annexed it into her domain. Read More

Problem? Just turn it ibnto a feature!

However, the specific computer that I chose seems to have a ibg probblemb with the letter b. Sometimes I get duplicates, and bsometimes it just appears out of nobwhere. Read More

How to Job: Full comprehensive tips

The employment world has become like a game that’s time-gated, but instead of time, it’s work experience and instead of being fun, it fills you with dread and hopelessness Read More

Quick lesson on claiming tables

The process of claiming a seat during meal time rush hours can be quite the hassle. If done incorrectly, it can result in you not having a place to sit or even worse — death. Read More