UR Joking

A letter to future UR kids

You can be bent over for two reasons at this school — either you're laughing so hard you can’t breathe, or you’re getting fucked over. Read More

The Joker speaks

This sent me down a rabbit hole — how much force do you need to physically remove a male genitalia from the rest of the body? Read More

Considering campus curses

I heard that this curse was actually invented within the last two decades to create some lore and mystery. I think the campus needs some new curses. Read More

The Joker Speaks: This guy thinks he’s funny?

They made new neighborhood watches to “keep an eye” on me and I’m now “on a List,” but what else is an honest guy to do for a good day’s work? Read More

You should extort the housing lottery!

I’m not saying seniors should extort students and profit hundreds of dollars. I’m saying that generosity could be killing monetary benefits.  Read More

I really, really dislike this sign

This is not only wrong, but downright un-American. I refuse to elaborate on how. Read More

POV: help

I can submit this on time. I will not be ready to submit this on time. The submit button stares back at me. I avert my eyes. Read More

The Taxman cometh

I know He is tempting me. The more I profit, the more he can take from me. Read More

Gender vs. God: Tips and tricks to escape the vengeful hand of a benevolent omnipotent being

Passover is underway, and if you are unlucky enough to be male, goy, and firstborn, it is a truly terrifying time indeed. Read More

The yearn to earn 

From the day I became self-aware, I have desired to devote a literal third of my entire adult life to working for you. At your very company!  Read More