Humor
Humor
The Bills are 2-0
I was four when the Bills last made the playoffs. It was a time when people listened to Sony Walkmans, printed out or looked at a physical map for directions, saved files to a floppy disk, and blew on their N64 cartridges. There’s no such thing as a bandwagon Bills fan. They’ve had their downs […]
Humor
Investigation: Gym floor collapsed because of “that guy who’s always lifting”
An investigation by Goergen Athletic Center officials which concluded late last week. The official report states that the athletic center’s chronic damage – which included a collapsed floor that recently had to be repaired – was caused by “that one guy who’s always lifting”. According to the report published by the Athletic Center and signed […]
Humor
Cracking jokes about the news
1. Bags of mountain air were offered to citizens in the smog-filled city of Zhengzhou, China. Tourists beware, the air is to die for. 2. A new Viagara-esque pill is using President Obama’s image to sell the sex pill. However, multiple complaints claim that after taking the pill for the second time, no “change” occurred. […]
Humor
Ten ways to make basketball even more exciting
I was sitting with some friends watching Baylor and Kansas play on ESPN when one of the well-known “Life Alert” advertisements came on. I could only wonder what in the world the cameraman was doing in those ads. I mean, who could just stand around and film an elderly person falling without calling for help? […]
Humor
Made up reasons as to why people quit their jobs
1. A doctor quit being a pediatrician after ten years of never having enough patience. 2. A computer scientist quit her job after realizing she wasn’t a guy. 3. A physicist quit her job after discovering that the universe was expanding while her love for outer space wasn’t. 4. After fixing a man’s aorta, the […]
Humor
Ever Wetter
Get out your rain jackets fellow Yellow Jackets because spring is here. You know spring is here when you start wishing that your glasses came with built- in windshield wipers. However, I love spring. The smell of wet concrete clears up a cloudy mind. The rain showers make me feel as if I’m in a […]
Humor
Disney rommates cause ‘Whole New World’ for UR
Let’s imagine that admissions allowed you to pick a Disney character to be your roommate. The following comments are from people whose roommates were Disney characters – can you guess the famous character based on the reported incidents? -“My roommate gave me an apple which was supposedly meant to grant my wish. However, my wish […]
Humor
How to fend off the Rochesterian cold
Guess what? It’s winter! Winter is a very cold time of year for people at UR. I could go into detail about why it’s so cold, but I’ll just assume that you agree it’s cold. For those of you who are new to Rochester, you’re probably wondering what you can do to prepare for the […]
Humor
And they are off to the races, to watch of course
On Sunday, I went out to breakfast with my friend Mike. As we walked by the track, I began to think, “What a coincidence, so many people are outside running today.” It turned out more than 20 track teams were at Fauver Stadium to test their running abilities. We decided to head over to the […]
Humor
The Common Market is guaranteed to be sweet
After a rigorous lab session, I decided to get a piece of candy at The Common Market, but that isn’t always an easy decision. I realized that any piece of candy would qualify as a good choice, but I wanted to make the best choice. I glanced at the Airheads first. However, the phrase “you […]
