1. A doctor quit being a pediatrician after ten years of never having enough patience.

2. A computer scientist quit her job after realizing she wasn’t a guy.

3. A physicist quit her job after discovering that the universe was expanding while her love for outer space wasn’t.

4. After fixing a man’s aorta, the surgeon resigned from his position after he discovered that his heart wasn’t in the right place.

5. A carpenter stopped his project; he just couldn’t nail his work.

6. The painter quit her job after realizing that she couldn’t even draw a crowd.

7. The mailman decided his days were over once he decided that he just couldn’t deliver.

8. The plumber quit his job after he realized it was too crappy.

9. The dentist quit her job after learning that everyone drinks pop and consumes sugar.

10. The musical athlete quit his job after realizing that he couldn’t beat a drum, not even in basketball.

Horgan is a member of the class of 2017



Made up reasons as to why people quit their jobs

In anticipation of 2026’s graduation ceremony, the Campus Times conducted an interview with upcoming Commencement speaker Jeannine Shao Collins ’86. Collins, who earned a bachelor's degree in economics from URochester, currently works as the Chief Client Officer at Kargo: a multiplatform advertising and media company. Read More

Made up reasons as to why people quit their jobs

For graduated senior Helen Jackson, who hadn’t been able to go home for breaks for the past two years, these last few months have been a much-needed break. “I’m moving halfway across the country in July for my PhD program, so I probably won’t be able to come home very often after this,” she said. Read More