Humor
Humor
Dear Chris: Common problems solved
Dear Chris: I spend all day doing work and, every night when I get into my bed, right as I close my eyes, I can’t help but hear a rhythmic pounding coming from the room above me. I hear grunts, and for the life of me I can’t figure out what they’re doing or how […]
Humor
Declaring your major
It’s that time of year again. The squirrels are frolicking, the brown water of our lovely Genesee is flowing in full force, the Quidditch team has returned to practice during normally inconvenient hours for everyone else in Fauver; oh, and the school is hounding freshmen and sophomores to declare what they will pursue for the […]
Humor
Poking fun at the news
1. A Nevada bill that would allow sick pets to use medical marijuana is being introduced in the state legislature. Said one contemplative pet chicken to another, “Well, we’re gonna be baked anyways.” 2. A man in Pennsylvania attempted rolling in dog waste to avoid arrest. The plan failed. 3. A new study predicts that […]
Humor
On squirrels
While walking to class, have you ever noticed the squirrels meandering around? Since I was a little kid, I have also wondered what it would like to be a squirrel. How do they communicate? Where do squirrels live? Do they have small bartering economies where they trade nuts for sticks or vice versa? Squirrels always […]
Humor
Business ideas that didn’t work
1. Andrew Carnegie planned to come out with a steel-themed monopoly game but just decided to do it in real life instead. 2. A kissing booth featuring Judas. 3. Shaquille O’Neal opened up a photography studio but could never take a good shot. 4. Brutus attempted to open a massage therapy center. His fatal mistake? […]
Humor
On cheesecake
I’ve been thinking about something lately…what is so funny about cheesecake? Nothing, really. I didn’t know what to write about for this week’s article, so I asked for a random word. Sophomore Dani Douglas said, “Cheesecake.” So, that is what I’m going to write about. I always found it odd how cheesecake came about. Many […]
Humor
A letter from the Easter Bunny
With Easter quickly approaching, it’s that time of year again. Recently, I have gotten some accusations that I am, in fact, a fraud. They say that there’s a conflict of interest in me delivering chocolate to every house because I sold my soul to the corporate market by allowing myself to be the poster-bunny for […]
Humor
Let’s play on words
1. The electric wiring in my house is unfixable, so I felt guilty giving the repair man an offer he couldn’t re-fuse. 2. Angels make poor friends because they aren’t down-to-Earth people. 3. Scheduling events for a friend is a good way to make their day. 4. Before Jesus walked on water, he did a […]
Humor
Getting ready to conquer the cold in the chilly city of Rochester
This past week, I left my dorm in the early hours of the morning bundled up to find a strange phenomenon; a bright ball lighting the sky without any snow falling. Thankfully, since the University of Rochester is known for its optics, I was able to meet with a professor immediately. He had recently completed […]
