Humor
Midterms
Student unaware exam mistakes are changing laws of the universe
The first-year’s eldritch ignorance first came to attention when a faulty use of the buoyancy equation sunk every vessel in the South China Sea. Read More
Political Comedy
University shutdown continues
Debate over funding for the proposed campus border wall prolongs the ongoing University shutdown. Read More
study
Look on the Bright Side…
Luis visits Mariama in Valentine Tower one afternoon looking for motivation to study. He finds it, but in an unexpected way. Read More
Christmas
Michael Bublé Emerges From Year-Long Hibernation In Egg To Judge Mankind
The 43-year old Canadian crooner was seen last Sunday dividing up a crowd of Vancouver Starbucks patrons by their moral purity. Read More
vote
Florida Experiences Problems with Recurring Recounts
Florida, a state that is "physically incapable of making decisions" is under fire as midterm elections went to yet another recount. Read More
Dining
Gone Bananas
Smuggling fruit out of the dining halls is an almost universal practice among UR students. How many is too many? The morality of one student's 23 banana conquest is called into question. Read More
Humor
Advice from Tiffany, the White Suburban Mom
In her new column, Tiffany the White Suburban Mom answers your pressing questions and gives advice to the common folk. Read More
Humor
Rochester’s Inaugural Hunger Games
Faced with the problem of too many students in the first-year class, the University of Rochester must take drastic measures in order to decrease the amount of matriculating students. Read More
Humor
Incoming Student Upset That No Professor Has Come Forward as His Nemesis Yet
A First-year is disappointed that no professor has come forward as his nemesis. The legacy student arrived on campus this semester hoping that adversity in the form of opposition to his academic success would inspire him to be ever better. Read More