Humor

Weeding out space problems

The administration is using gated up rooms in Spurrier and Todd Union for the cultivation of high-quality recreational marijuana. Read More

Dr. Olidamra’s commitment to benefiting armadillo research

“Yeah, he’s a bit... weird about his armadillos,” Deckham added, awkwardly shuffling his feet. “Like, he talks to them. A lot.” Read More

BREAKING: Campus Times staff resigns seemingly all at once

This schedule was interrupted Sunday March 30, when seven elected staff members suddenly declared their immediate resignations from the newspaper. Read More

This is not a joke.

This is not a joke. This is no laughing matter. It’s not intended to be funny or perhaps even humorous. I’m serious in everything that I’m saying right now. Read More

Climate, don’t change

How would you feel if every day, people told you that they can’t appreciate you for who you are? You’d want to change too! Read More

In Memoriam, Freddy D.

Months went by. Freddy D. seemingly disappeared from the minds and memories of many. Then one day, I had a Carrie Bradshaw moment. Read More

The very hungry (brain)worm

So, in other words, I deal with the understanding of language, and boy, do I like to fiddle. I’m what makes you read “I scream” as “ice cream,” “I see cream” as “ice cream,” “onion beans” as “ice cream.” Read More

My crusade against the UR parking office

I allowed my predator to believe I was prey — let them roam the jungle, beat their chest, and act like they could never be defeated. Read More

Free the monkeys

These poor creatures were being experimented on to learn calculus, neuroscience, electrical circuitry, and art. They were staying up until 4 a.m. trying to figure out how to complete these wild assignments. Read More

Good advice Brian

Well, that’s too bad – I’m actually just going to gatekeep all of this information. You won’t get a peep out of me. Read More