Humor
777
5 a.m. deliriousness
Out of 10 games of chance, I would always lose at least nine. The few games I did win were always won because the other players pitied me.
betrayal
Blueberries, otherwise known as canned peaches.
In beautiful, all-caps Times New Roman, there it is, between “OVERNIGHT OATS” and “GREEK YOGURT.” In all of its glory, “BLUEBERRIES.”
backrooms
The basement of Carlson Library is literally the backrooms
No one comes here to hang out. Only to come close to a mental breakdown and hammer out the worst problem set known to man.
Bird
Did you hear a bird today?
Every morning, I wake up early and run around campus, chirping loud enough so people would be able to hear me, even deep in their sleep.
amogus
Moanin’ about ‘mogus
You mustn't misunderstand me, not once during this seemingly endless phase of my existence have I actually played this game.
academic tomfoolery
The Structure of an Essay
Finally, you have the conclusion, the only part of your essay that your professor will actually read. You can’t exactly blame them.
Gilbert
The PumpKing
Ready to take the pumpkin out on a walk, we looked for it within our lounge. But it wasn’t there. Had someone taken it?
airport shenanigans
Elena’s LEGOs
I’m scrambling. How had this all gone so wrong so quickly? Luckily, I had Markup. I was good, maybe too good. He gobbled my lies right up.
Barry Manilow
Her Name Was Rosemary! She Was an “It”-Girl!
What have we gained from this? I ask this genuinely, because I do not know. If we are Sisyphus, Party School is our rock.
Animals
Rest in peace, Med Center bat
Finding a bat in a med center lab raises a lot of questions: How did it get in here? Why did it pick a sticky trap as its landing pad?
