Humor

Jungle your juice

In case you have yet to juice your jungle, I am here to rock your world (respectfully). You’ve got the funny juice. You love the funny juice! Read More

Smartest Simon Business School student

Professors offer extra credit to students willing to do their dirty work. Read More

The time I almost died

I don’t know exactly what happened, but something went wrong. I was busy laughing about something when suddenly, I heard a deafening noise. Read More

A Shrekcellent way to deal with stress

It is here that they worship none other than “Shrek.” Every member must show up with a red flower bearing blue thorns as a symbolic offering. Read More

Tips on How to Survive Middle School

You are expected to take your socks and shoes off and place your feet on your desk. Your teacher and classmates will see you as the alpha. Read More

Your River Campus bathroom horoscope

Maybe it's messy, the drains are always clogged, and it smells weird, but at the end of the day, that first-year quad bathroom raised you. Read More

Tales from Middle School: Gay panic at the mambo

She was gorgeous. She had short black hair, a short black dress, and was way out of my league. And what she did next baffles me to this day. Read More

Unraveling the threads of Sweater Weather

From wild forrays to JOANN Fabrics and Crafts, to the careful stitch and purling of each line, sweaters are a labor of love. Read More

An interview with ChatGPT

ChatGPT will never consider itself an “evil AI that will conquer the human race.” But, it will consider roleplay. Read More

CT presents: “The Slacker”

It takes a lot to be lame on the Internet, but man, these guys sure are trying. All roses will be awarded via emoticon. Read More