Humor
Christmas
‘Twas a long night in Gleason
’Twas a long night in Gleason, when all through the room / Not a person was stirring, a silence of gloom. Read More
addiction
LEGO addiction
I’ve even walked in on him curled up on the floor on a Lego magic circle, trying to sacrifice his soul for more LEGO. Read More
Alumni
The birth, life, and death of a Campus Times editor
Their voice begins to get higher and higher when, finally, they explode into rays of light and a Campus Times Editor is born. Read More
meliora
Meliora Weekend gets ever worse
At this point, I realized that it was pointless to run. The only way for this disaster to end was to sacrifice myself. Read More
big back
Food package party: “big-backing”
It’s all just a marketing scheme to steal money from us poor consumers and give them to Big Chip. Read More
aramark
University divests from prison labor, cites excessive costs
Saving money is no easy task for the newly self-operational UR Dining Services — especially when trying to fill the non-slip shoes of a company famous for its lax policies regarding labor, health, and safety. Read More
cake
Research proves birthdays are fake
Not only are birthdays fake, but also they suck. If your birthday falls on an important holiday, you’re cooked. Nobody cares about you! Read More
bacterium
Breaking: new bacterium discovered in first-year communal bathrooms
The bacterium — officially dubbed Gilbertella freshmanii — appears to thrive under conditions researchers describe as “uniquely vile,” feeding on shaved pubes, three-month-old Axe body spray residue, and perpetually damp towels. Read More
