Archives - CT Staff
From Her Box
In my eyes, the words ?sports? and ?athletics? are such vague terms. Despite the loose definitions, we only associate certain words with those categories. For example, we can all agree that basketball, soccer, volleyball and even mud-wrestling are activities that fall under sports and recreation. I am here to propose that we add another one […]
We love talking about PORN
Viewing pornography has enjoyed a long history on our campus, because of both the traditional campus-wide showing of an X-rated movie every spring, as well the fact that so few students here ever get any action. While viewing porn may be commonplace on this campus, making a porn is rather unusual. Once again, the UR […]
Story E
Yeah right, like we can really get everything we want in life. Come back to reality, fella. That?s right, you?re getting closer, closer. There, you?ve found it! It?s right next to your car, parked at Towne House. Hike back to campus and proceed toStory F
Horoscopes
Coming up with 12 horoscopes every week can get pretty boring. I mean, who really feels like writing about other people all the time? For this edition, I decided it would be more fun to write about myself. I happen to be a Leo, so everyone else whose sign is the lion got lucky this […]
Danforth voted number one restaurant in Rochester
Heads up Admissions, it?s time to add another shining credential to the UR pre-frosh bulletins. I can just see it now ? it will be recorded right next to the ?Three-time recipient of the Parking Services Award for Excellence in Customer Satisfaction.? Broadcast in a blue and dandelion yellow blaze of glory, it will be […]
Don't Argue
I am always right. Deal with it. I don?t have to justify things because well ... I?mTmas Perez. The ultimate latin lover.As argument is futile, here is a listing of random opinions which are correct.Abba Gold is better than the A*Teens, but both are good. Britney?s breasts are real. Its a hydrobra. Dolly Parton?s are […]
Steaming pile of whale poo
Six months at sea! Yes, reader, as I live, six months out of sight of land; cruising after the sperm-whale beneath the scorching sun of the Line, and tossed on the billows of the wide-rolling Pacific--the sky above, the sea around, and nothing else! Weeks and weeks ago our fresh provisions were all exhausted. There […]
Editorial Recall
We at the Campus Times would like to let our readers in on a little secret.Virtually every editorial ? and a fair degree of the news articles ? that have appeared until now in the CT have been bald-faced lies. We could say that we?ve been doing this to yank the chain of the administration, […]
What you say!!
Someone set up us the bomb.How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time.Take off every ?zig? for great justice!
Idle Threats
Astro-guru an idiotI am writing in regards to your weekly horoscope. During a break between classes I decided to read my horoscope to see what the stars have to predict about my life. Being the smart Cancer that I am, I realized that your ?Astro-guru? claimed that I am kind, which is not true. In […]