Astro-guru an idiot

I am writing in regards to your weekly horoscope. During a break between classes I decided to read my horoscope to see what the stars have to predict about my life. Being the smart Cancer that I am, I realized that your ?Astro-guru? claimed that I am kind, which is not true. In fact, I am a bitchy-backstabbing-son-of-a-you-know-what.

After realizing that, I wondered if the CT astrologist was precise. But when I read my dog?s horoscope, which claims financial success, I questioned if you?re ?Astro-guru? was in fact an astrologist.

Being an avid fan and member of the Dionne Warwick Psychic Friends hotline, I am both amazed and appalled at such an atrocity.

The CT should employ astrologists who understand the star movements and are knowledgeable of the history and life changing ways of astrology. Al-Qatami is not only uneducated with stars, but is also a screaming, angst-ridden sissy with nothing but snappy replies.

I advise the Campus Times features editors to go on the look out for someone who actually knows what the black spots on the sun mean. It is very unprofessional of them to employ such an average character to predict people?s lives.

? Nasser Al-Qatami

Campus Times Astro-guru

Common whores

I would like to voice my extreme displeasure at the recent rash of indecent exposure on the UR campus.

Walking through the quad I am appalled at the numerous instances of women simply not wearing a proper amount of clothing. I was flabbergasted to behold a young woman with her head shamefully uncovered, her skirt a scandalous three inches above her ankles and the nape of her neck displayed like a common whore.

What is this campus coming to? I believe the UR administration needs to enact a strict dress code to stop these flagrant displays of sinfulness. The moral integrity of the fine boys at this institution should be safeguarded from the vile attempts of these amoral temptresses to lure them into the halls of hell with their fleshy pleasures.

For the sake of the immortal souls of all of the young innocents on this fair campus, I implore you to stop this travesty immediately!

A strictly enforced policy of proper dress should be put in place?and those who choose not to recognize the error in their ways should be branded with a large red ?A.? As the wife of an alumni who gives large amounts of money to the University, I demand that this stature be enforced immediately along with a requirement for weekly Shaker Sunday worship, segregated classrooms and head coverings.

It?s the alumni who count at this university, and they are the ones who should decide what the standards are going to be. In my day, students did not have a say in the unrealistic mandates imposed on them and students today should be given the great opportunity to be formed under the same puritanical administration that molded so many fine boys into proper men.

? Stilla V. Irgin

Class of 1949

Faster pussycat, kill, kill

I think that hippopotomi are evil creatures. They worship Satan.

I think that it would be best if they all were corralled into a large pen and whatever the latest weapony to grace the pages of Jane?s Defense Weekly be used to turn them into a large fricasse.

On another related note, why are we against sweatshops? They provide us with nice, relatively cheap Nike and Gap apparel which is well made. Only children have hands small enough to do the seams in my cargo pants. Viv le resistance!

? Random Fool

Class of 1999

Great job

Thank you CT for a job well done. Keep up the good work.

? W. Jamie Hobba

Director of Admissions

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