I am always right. Deal with it. I don?t have to justify things because well … I?mTmas Perez. The ultimate latin lover.

As argument is futile, here is a listing of random opinions which are correct.

Abba Gold is better than the A*Teens, but both are good.

Britney?s breasts are real. Its a hydrobra.

Dolly Parton?s are not real. They?re large bags of silicone.

People never mature. Visit any corporate workplace. They just move on to a new place.

People who say ?nucular? instead of nuclear should be shot out of a cannon.

The same for people from western Pennsylvania who say melk when the word is milk. There is an ?i? in that word.

There are no kangaroos in Austria.

Don?t bother turning on the lights for Amelia.


People are prudes. There is nothing wrong with the words penis, vagina or labia.

Sarcasm is the highest form of humor.

Bob Dole should learn something about not always needing to refer to Bob Dole in the third person.


Moss colored paint looks ridiculous on an outside wall. Or any wall. Stick to darker hues.

Sally Struthers is a very scary woman. Perhaps if she gave more of the food she eats to those starving children they wouldn?t be starving.

See the light and believe. Join my cult of higher understanding.

You can properly worship me at 8 p.m. on Wednesdays.

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