Bryan Burke
Bryan Burke
Class of 2025

Articles by Bryan

Pesto is sus

This guy is twice as large as any of his siblings and even larger than his parents. He is anything but a little guy. His stature is … actually a little bit suspicious. Read More

Dietary liberation

If you are a more food-safe person than myself, you may see the obvious issue with adding raw meat to a cooked dish. In theory, this should be fine, assuming you wait for the meat to cook through. Read More

Flying without wings: the box kite dilemma

Have you ever seen a box kite? Box is a bit of a misnomer, as the “boxes” in question are just rings of fabric stretched over a square frame. Read More

Flying without wings: the box kite dilemma

Welcome to a dimension where logic bends, equations fail, Bernoulli rolls in his grave, and the impossible dances on the breeze. Read More

Dam Funny: A Review of “Hundreds of Beavers” – North America’s Largest Rodent Takes Center Stage

Our protagonist awakes in shoulder-deep snow. He is alone, without any worldly possessions. His applejack business is as good as gone. Read More

Rust, Rude Remarks, and Waterlogged Trunks: The Northwest Auto Mall Nightmare

At no point did he utter the phrase “New York State Inspection,” and the vehicle failed to display an inspection sticker. Read More

System.out.println(“Coding on paper.”);

I enjoy the occasional coding problem, as the differently-colored special words scratch a certain itch deep, deep down in my monkey brain. Read More

Sports! A layman’s perspective

7:19: They warm up? Music was cut, and now they're just playing. The puck is very small, and I cannot see anything. Read More

The basement of Carlson Library is literally the backrooms

No one comes here to hang out. Only to come close to a mental breakdown and hammer out the worst problem set known to man.  Read More

Her Name Was Rosemary! She Was an “It”-Girl!

What have we gained from this? I ask this genuinely, because I do not know. If we are Sisyphus, Party School is our rock. Read More