1. The electric wiring in my house is unfixable, so I felt guilty giving the repair man an offer he couldn’t re-fuse.

2. Angels make poor friends because they aren’t down-to-Earth people.

3. Scheduling events for a friend is a good way to make their day.

4. Before Jesus walked on water, he did a few dry runs.

5. Scientists spend so much time studying why snails don’t get married, but it’s because they take things slowly.

6. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

7. If it weren’t for spell check, I wouldn’t be able to spell anything rite.

8. Telling someone to break a leg works well, unless they are a sprinter.

9. Marry someone who is the same height as you. That way, you’ll always see eye to eye.

10. If a pistol and a rifle had a child, it would be one dangerous son of a gun.

11. Jogging every day will be good in the long run.

Horgan is a member of
the class of 2017.



Let’s play on words

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Let’s play on words

The LLE received $13.7 million to enter the final design phase for the U.S. National Science Foundation Optical Parametric Amplifier Line (NSF OPAL), to make it an even more powerful academic laser facility.  Read More

Let’s play on words

The Yellowjackets faced off against the William Smith College Herons in a 1–0 match on Wednesday Sept. 23. In honor of Suicide Prevention Month, the Yellowjackets donned their new warmups in support of Mikayla’s Mission. Read More