Uncategorized
Senate taken over in surprise 'regime change'
By Gloria GaynorDisco-Happy DivaIn a surprise move Monday night, Comrades of SA President and senior Lonny Mallach led students in attack formation into the Gowan Room and took over the senate by force, citing that the senate needed a 'regime change.'"It was time to get rid of Ashley Conner," Mallach said. "She is a weapon […]
Necessary means
The Campus Campus Revolution supports the use of force in implementing a regime change in the Students' Association Senate.Comrade Lonny Mallach should be commended for his initiative in taking care of a problem that has plagued UR students for decades. The tyrannies of the senate have been perpetuated for too long.When considering whether regime change […]
Focus: Dance Dance Revelation
The features section of this issue has been uploaded in PDF form. Please click on the icon to view the page.
Harrick persuades squash star to quit
By GooseMy WingmanAt this morning's press conference senior Allen Fitzsimmons made an announcement that shocked the UR community. It's official - Fitzsimmons will return to UR next year, but instead of being on the squash courts he'll return to captain the Dance Dance Revolution team in their second season."I was doubtful for a while, but […]
Jackson announces 'biodome'
BY TONY MANEROStayin' AliveUniversity President Thomas "Michael" Jackson announced yesterday that work would begin on building a giant plexiglass dome over the River Campus as part of the Renaissance Plan.The announcement came during a special closed-door executive session held last week, sources close to Jackson say. "I've [been] tired - of [UR] students [complaining]," Jackson […]
Incoherent Musings
Oh boy. Last night was fun. Yes my friends, I finally bought a dime bag and enjoyed a nice puff of the weed.Cannabis, pot, weed, joint, whatever - it's all good stuff. I didn't know what I was missing.It felt great. I had no freaking clue what was going on. The walls whizzed by in […]
Official Declaration
FORGET TOM "JACKO" JACKSON'S SO-CALLED "RENAISSANCE PLAN." THE AGE OF THE GREEN IS UPON US. UNDER MY NEW REGIME, I MEAN, PLAN - A LITTLE SOMETHING I LIKE TO CALL THE "REVOLUTION PLAN," ALL DEPARTMENTS, BUILDINGS, PROGRAMS, TEAMS, CLUBS AND DINING FACILITIES WILL FALL UNDER THE LARGE AND SPACIOUS UMBRELLA OF MY OFFICE. CONSOLIDATING ALL […]
Always right
Misconceptions abound about the Campus Campus Revolution and its quality. Contrary to popular belief, we are never inaccurate and any quotes used are direct and exact. The administration and the students attempt to slander the name of the CCR and degrade our establishment, but it must be defended. We are an upstanding and well put-together […]
A plea to those who remain silent
We live in interesting times, to say the least. The United States is dropping thousands of bombs, Iraq is fighting back with a variety of unorthodox tactics, the international community is generally divided about the validity of this war, and meanwhile we are told that to be good citizens we should just stay quiet and […]
Press Release
PRESS RELEASEThere is a new P.S.A. that mocks the "buying drugs supports terrorism" campaign, that makes a tongue-in-cheek claim against taxes.It's viewable as a 2.4 mb Quicktime file, and may take a little while to download, but check it out at:http://www.singlereel.com/directory/clip_play.php?p_clip_id=26285&p_bandw=5600or, if that doesn't work for you:http://www.bainst.com/taxes.zipThanks!FC Brandt