FORGET TOM “JACKO” JACKSON’S SO-CALLED “RENAISSANCE PLAN.” THE AGE OF THE GREEN IS UPON US.

UNDER MY NEW REGIME, I MEAN, PLAN – A LITTLE SOMETHING I LIKE TO CALL THE “REVOLUTION PLAN,” ALL DEPARTMENTS, BUILDINGS, PROGRAMS, TEAMS, CLUBS AND DINING FACILITIES WILL FALL UNDER THE LARGE AND SPACIOUS UMBRELLA OF MY OFFICE.

CONSOLIDATING ALL PROGRAMS ASSOCIATED WITH UR UNDER MY DIRECTION WILL BE MUCH EASIER THAN THE WAY THEY ARE CURRENTLY RUN. I MEAN, WHO DOES THIS WALLY GUY THINK HE IS, RUNNING SECURITY?

I AM WRITING TO INFORM STUDENTS OF ONE CHANGE IN PARTICULAR – A CHANGE I BELIEVE WILL HAVE LONG-REACHING EFFECTS FOR THE MAJORITY OF THE STUDENT BODY. BEGINNING NEXT WEEK, ALL DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION TOURNAMENTS WILL UNDER THE DIRECTION OF THE COLLEGE – AKA. ME.

I FEEL THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO CONTRIBUTE A UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE TO THE TOURNAMENTS AND ADD A NEW DIMENSION TO THE GAME BECAUSE OF MY EXPERTISE IN THE FIELD.

BACK IN MY COLLEGE DAYS, IN ADDITION TO RUNNING THE SCHOOL PAPER AND WRITING FOURTEEN BOOKS, I WAS THE DANCE DANCE CHAMPION.

LET’S NOT KID AROUND HERE – I WAS REALLY, REALLY SUPER GOOD. MY TRIPLE SPINNY MOVE THINGEE WAS KILLER. I GOT MAD SKILLS, BABY.

ENOUGH ABOUT ME – BACK TO THE TASK AT HAND.

UNDER THE REVOLUTION PLAN, THE DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION MACHINE WILL BE MOVED TO THE HIVE, A ROOM THAT HAS STOOD EMPTY EVER SINCE WE DECIDED TO TURN IT INTO A PUB.

IN ADDITION, THE SCORING MECHANISMS ON THE MACHINES WILL BE DISABLED SO I CAN JUDGE EVERY MATCH MYSELF. THERE’S NO SENSE IN TAKING CHANCES WITH INACCURACIES AND WITH MY KEEN EYES AND HUNGER FOR POWER, EVERY COMPETITION WILL BE JUDGED FAIRLY.

IN SHORT, THE REVOLUTION PLAN IS SURE TO BE A SUCCESS BECAUSE I THOUGHT OF IT.

GREEN CAN BE REACHED AT LUV2DANCE@DDR.COM.



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