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Gluck shares insights, secrets
Louise Glck's "Conversation with James Longenbach" in the Welles-Brown room on Wednesday proved to be an enriching conversation for those attending.Glck answered questions directed by Longenbach and by the audience. A hush fell over the room as Glck and her interviewer presented themselves at the table. Her list of accolades is impressive, including becoming the […]
Borat sexed, ate, returned
BY THE PARTY POLICERockin' the ROC"Hello Rochester friend, what what what. My name's Borat, but people call me Steve. Steve! A year ago, I come to Rochester. I steal much of Rochester to bring home to my family. They like these things very much. Please in this article you will read them and also learn […]
Faculty meeting addresses current issues
BY Yo Yo Ma-SkynardHouse and R&B DJAt a faculty meeting at the Eastman School of Music last week, a number of issues relating to school improvement were discussed. The Eastman faculty is committed to creating an environment where student musicians can thrive musically, academically and professionally. The consensus was that this meeting was the most […]
Exposing 'Star Wars,' Simpson and Lohan
By Dawson LeeryCreek PedophileAs a moviegoer, it's always hard to make the right choice at the multiplex. But thankfully, you have someone as dedicated as me to point you in the right direction. A few insiders in "the industry" sent me the rough cuts of some upcoming summer releases - the best of which I've […]
Funny Comics!
They're actually funny this week!! Promise!!
Dates require no pants for a good time
Recently, my partner in crime, Chubbs, has been disappointed with the lack of spice in our one -on-one relationship. I really want to give back to my partner because Chubbs has given me pure ecstasy over the last six years. Are there any other spots on our campus where I can extract Chubbs' love?~Spilling the […]
STDs ARE HOT
By Paris HiltonHey sexy! So, ironically - oh my god, that is, like, the biggest word I ever used - Joy Newman wasn't feeling well so she asked me to fill in for her. And if you're wondering where Nicole Ritchie is, she is probably somewhere not eating and becoming hotter than me, which means […]
Undergrads annoy
The Campus Crime Connection, after reporting on countless juvenile infractions and recognizing the imminent reign of President-elect Joel Seligman, has decided UR should seriously consider removing undergraduates from the campus as a step toward increasing UR's reputation.Frankly, our undergraduate student body is just childish. We have students smoking up in the back rooms of Wilson […]
Program lacking
The Student Activities Office planned another program for students last weekend.The event was attended by some people. Some probably had a good time, but it is assumed that some did not have a good time.While it should be applauded that they planned an event for students, there were several things wrong with it.First, the program […]
Steroids creep onto the UR diamond
By Fro FinCampus HoboScandal erupted yesterday when the All-Campus Judiciary Council subpoenaed former UR athlete Ralph Palmero McWeed to appear at an emergency hearing. McWeed, a former first baseman for the Yellowjackets baseball team from 1999-2003, is being called to appear in front of the council this Wednesday. The council called this emergency session amid […]