The Campus Crime Connection, after reporting on countless juvenile infractions and recognizing the imminent reign of President-elect Joel Seligman, has decided UR should seriously consider removing undergraduates from the campus as a step toward increasing UR’s reputation.Frankly, our undergraduate student body is just childish. We have students smoking up in the back rooms of Wilson Commons. We have students trashing our skate rinks. We have students ripping up seats while they are drunk. What we don’t have is a strong incentive to keep these mindless buffoons off our beautiful campus.After all, how much do undergraduates really contribute to UR? Very little.They whine, moan, complain, get drunk, smoke pot, steal trays, egg cars and cause wanton destruction. And for what? A measly $32,000 a year?No, sir. The CCC asks UR to put its foot down. Stop this insanity, this lunacy and ameliorate this condition. UR lags behind peer institutions in this field. It is time for UR to again lead the field in university ass covering, as it did in the case of Napster.Undergraduates, you know your time has come. No more sweet talk. No more babying from tight-lipped Matt Burns. We have two words for you – “Go home!”
medication
Undergrads annoy
As recently as the early 2010s, it was standard practice for surgeons to provide 30 to 40 or more opioid pills for common, minimally invasive procedures. Most of these pills, however, would remain untouched, left over in the patient’s medical cabinet or kitchen pantries for potential misuse. A team of researchers led by URMC’s Dr. Jacob Moalem set out to reduce these opioid overprescriptions. Read More
dissociation
Undergrads annoy
So far, I’ve already tried a few alternative methods because, according to my doctor, my liver “can’t take much more of this,” and I think one has finally stuck. Read More
birders log
Undergrads annoy
After walking around campus, as well as other areas such as parks in Northwestern New York, spotting birds has become more commonplace. The resident bird species are singing, foraging, and preparing to nest while many migratory birds are starting to arrive. Read More