Political Comedy
Political Comedy
Public Safety requests guns to ensure the safety of a completely deserted campus
Public Safety director Clark Livingston took the CT on a tour of all the potentially dangerous locations where students currently aren't. Read More
Political Comedy
Here’s how Barry can still win
It's 1986. It's 1962. It's 1988. It's 1981. It's 2020. It's 1991. It's 2024. It's 2016. No matter the year, Bernie and Barry Sanders share a destiny. Read More
Political Comedy
Bernie Sanders continues to exist
Sanders hopes that coronavirus strengthens the case for Medicare for All, which would make finding out your hospital has run out of ventilators free. Read More
Political Comedy
Engineering expo promises “New opportunities for misery and death in the Middle East”
“We hope students will take this opportunity to get in on the ground floor of unmitigated slaughter,” a UR Career Center representative told the CT. Read More
Counter-protests
Protesters protesting campus protest met with protests
When advertisements for a protest were posted in prominent locations around campus, a student stapled Uno reverse cards on top of them. Read More
guillotine
New student initiative for tuition increase to fund totally unrelated guillotines
Top UR administrators, last seen diving Scrooge McDuck-style into a swimming pool filled with 2019’s executive bonuses, were unavailable for comment. Read More
Political Comedy
University shutdown continues
Debate over funding for the proposed campus border wall prolongs the ongoing University shutdown. Read More
vote
Florida Experiences Problems with Recurring Recounts
Florida, a state that is "physically incapable of making decisions" is under fire as midterm elections went to yet another recount. Read More
Guns
GOP says: Ban schools
This past Friday, GOP lawmakers announced a party-wide initiative to end school shootings by banning schools. Read More
Politics
Punxsutawney Phil gives State of the Forest address
From Bernie Loonders to Sean Parrotty, reactions were strong to President Punxsutawney Phil's State of the Forest Address. Read More
