Humor
Humor
Eastman press release an interesing point
Before this week, sophomore Leo Larson and junior Anna Oliver were like all the other River Campus students. They waited in line at Starbucks, hung out with friends, went to their classes, and vegged out. However, this past weekend, they made a discovery that has shaken the entire UR community and will affect generations to […]
Humor
Poking fun at the news
1. Pot infused pizza sauce is now coming in marijuana dispensaries. This ensures that customers too, like the pizza, will be baked. 2. Two teens are being accused of drawing a 100 yard penis on a football field. “It would have been bigger had it not been so cold out”, one teen said. 3. An […]
Humor
Making some jokes about the news
1. A cop chased victims who shot him with a paintball. Nobody in the chase got away cleanly. 2. A home intruder was caught by cops lurking around Farmer Brown’s cornfield. He is being labeled as the “Corn Stalker”. 3. Apes at a Louisiana Zoo sang loudly enough to serenade all of its visitors. “Swingin’ […]
Humor
Not a fish story, I guess
In college, it’s good to be open-minded, but not so much that your brain falls out. For example, I’ve never been into eating fish. However, the other day I willed myself into eating fish fry. One fish two fish red fish eww fish. I shouldn’t have tried it. I, like the fish, got into trouble […]
Humor
Magic has to be real
In my youth, I took a liking to card tricks. I believed that every trick was powered by some mystical force, allowing magicians to do anything they pleased. Soon I realized my misconception and learned the way in which card tricks were performed. Right now, college is the main act in my life and the […]
Humor
School of Dentistry introduces new required class: “Astrology 101”
UR prides itself on its open curriculum, but future dentists will be required to enroll in an introductory astrology class in order to ensure that each student gets a well-rounded education. “These students are working so hard on learning about specificities in science. It’s about time they took a break and learned a bit about […]
Humor
The Bills are 2-0
I was four when the Bills last made the playoffs. It was a time when people listened to Sony Walkmans, printed out or looked at a physical map for directions, saved files to a floppy disk, and blew on their N64 cartridges. There’s no such thing as a bandwagon Bills fan. They’ve had their downs […]
Humor
Investigation: Gym floor collapsed because of “that guy who’s always lifting”
An investigation by Goergen Athletic Center officials which concluded late last week. The official report states that the athletic center’s chronic damage – which included a collapsed floor that recently had to be repaired – was caused by “that one guy who’s always lifting”. According to the report published by the Athletic Center and signed […]
Humor
Cracking jokes about the news
1. Bags of mountain air were offered to citizens in the smog-filled city of Zhengzhou, China. Tourists beware, the air is to die for. 2. A new Viagara-esque pill is using President Obama’s image to sell the sex pill. However, multiple complaints claim that after taking the pill for the second time, no “change” occurred. […]
Humor
Ten ways to make basketball even more exciting
I was sitting with some friends watching Baylor and Kansas play on ESPN when one of the well-known “Life Alert” advertisements came on. I could only wonder what in the world the cameraman was doing in those ads. I mean, who could just stand around and film an elderly person falling without calling for help? […]
