Humor
Humor
Valentine’s Day Survival Advice
Happy day before Valentine’s Day! In case you haven’t heard, or are a single college student who is trying to zone out the fact that every person in a relationship is celebrating with their loved one while you just watch “The Notebook” marathon until tomorrow comes, it’s the day before Valentine’s Day. But don’t worry, […]
Humor
Entire Sophomore class gets locked out of housing
Dreams were shattered. Hopes were dashed. This week, thousands of students jockeyed for spots in the housing lottery. Random times were given to students to sign up for housing next year. Of course, there were “minor problems” (according to ResLife) with the lottery this year. Among other issues, the entire (rising) sophomore class was locked […]
Humor
Jeff Howard is the man, man.
Jeff Howard is one of the best Arts and Entertainment editors around. Also, his contributions to the humor section have helped Campus Times rival the Harvard Lampoon, which isn’t that difficult, because more people laugh at a funeral than at the Harvard Lampoon--I may or may not actually believe this, but another editor told me […]
Humor
Still poking fun at the news
1. A squirrel in a Fort Wayne community center got into the electrical system and ended up costing the center $300,000 worth of damage. After causing a power surge that fried the systems, sources say the squirrel did not survive. Dinner? 2. A group in Oklahoma is protesting the restriction of same-sex marriage. All they […]
Humor
The life of a raindrop, as written by a raindrop
From the clouds I fall, like a skydiver without a parachute. I’m the equivalent of a human-daredevil, except there’s no risk in a failed landing, unless you end up in a field of cow manure. I’ve been everywhere in the world, except at most deserts. We’re told to stay away from deserts because that’s where […]
Humor
Student Profile: Michael Kaplan (’17)
Michael was born in a log cabin that he built by himself. At the age of two, he successfully completed Oregon Trail without ever having to ford the river. At three, he defeated the Elite Four in Pokemon with a single Magikarp, which didn’t have any attacking moves. At four, Michael got himself lost in […]
Humor
Student buys Starbucks’ Ham and Cheese Square for some incomprehensible reason
On Monday morning, UR freshman Chandler Ross ordered a Ham and Cheese Square from the on-campus Starbucks just before running to his 9:40am computer science class. Sources say Ross did indeed eat the repulsive breakfast item, but not before painstakingly cutting it into bite-sized squares, thus cutting a precious ten minutes out of his morning […]
Humor
‘Go Yellowjackets!’ post reveals incoming freshman knows nothing about UR
Incoming freshman Chad Hunter could hardly contain his enthusiasm when he posted “Go Yellowjackets!” on UR’s “Class of 2018” Facebook page this Tuesday. The post has been met with much hostility from the UR student body, thus eliminating Hunter’s chances of ever making a friend at the University. Sophomore Eli Zuckerman explains why Hunter committed […]
Humor
UR student nonchalantly places order at The Pit while wearing earbuds
Kid wearing earbuds captivates Pit-goers. Read More
