Humor

Editors announce presidential run

After discussing a presidential campaign for a week, Erik Chiodo and Chris Horgan have decided that was enough forum. The following includes the platform for the presidential and vice presidential candidates, Chiodo and Horgan. Giving power back to the students  Studies have shown that students at UR lack sufficient power, which is why, as a […]

A glorious review

“Winter is coming. Winter is here.” So says Jon Snow at the beginning of the “Game of Thrones” companion piece, “Winter is Cumming,” screened in Hoyt auditorium on March 23. From visionary director and writer Axel Braun came a reimagining of the “Game of Thrones” universe featuring new and exciting versions of the characters we […]

How well do you understand the carillon bell?

People spend a whole lot of time hating on the carillon bells, but, as a carillon player myself, I take offense to that. Sure, they can be annoying, but, from a practical perspective, the bells offer benefits to everyone on campus. So, for the carillon listeners out there I have compiled a pragmatic list of […]

Humor editor intervention: Horgan needs to contribute

This past Monday, humor editor and sophomore Erik Chiodo ‘17 sat down with fellow humor editor Chris Horgan ‘17 to hold an intervention. During the meeting, Chiodo didn’t hold any feelings back, immediately accusing Horgan of “not writing enough for the section.” “I like to think that I’m one with the student body, so if […]

Dear Chris: Common problems solved

Dear Chris: I spend all day doing work and, every night when I get into my bed, right as I close my eyes, I can’t help but hear a rhythmic pounding coming from the room above me. I hear grunts, and for the life of me I can’t figure out what they’re doing or how […]

Declaring your major

It’s that time of year again. The squirrels are frolicking, the brown water of our lovely Genesee is flowing in full force, the Quidditch team has returned to practice during normally inconvenient hours for everyone else in Fauver; oh, and the school is hounding freshmen and sophomores to declare what they will pursue for the […]

Poking fun at the news

1. A Nevada bill that would allow sick pets to use medical marijuana is being introduced in the state legislature.  Said one contemplative pet chicken to another, “Well, we’re gonna be baked anyways.” 2. A man in Pennsylvania attempted rolling in dog waste to avoid arrest. The plan failed. 3. A new study predicts that […]

On squirrels

While walking to class, have you ever noticed the squirrels meandering around? Since I was a little kid, I have also wondered what it would like to be a squirrel. How do they communicate? Where do squirrels live? Do they have small bartering economies where they trade nuts for sticks or vice versa? Squirrels always […]

Business ideas that didn’t work

1. Andrew Carnegie planned to come out with a steel-themed monopoly game but just decided to do it in real life instead. 2. A kissing booth featuring Judas. 3. Shaquille O’Neal opened up a photography studio but could never take a good shot. 4. Brutus attempted to open a massage therapy center. His fatal mistake? […]

On cheesecake

I’ve been thinking about something lately…what is so funny about cheesecake? Nothing, really. I didn’t know what to write about for this week’s article, so I asked for a random word. Sophomore Dani Douglas said, “Cheesecake.” So, that is what I’m going to write about. I always found it odd how cheesecake came about. Many […]