Humor
Humor
Life lessons learned the hard way: My first job interview
I nervously knocked on the door of 2101 at a Hilton in New York City. Not hearing an immediate response, I began walking back to my makeshift window seat (kind of ridiculous, since every other room had a chair outside it) as the door swung open. A man named John introduced himself as we rounded […]
Humor
The needs of a few
The University of Rochester is known across America, and maybe even the globe, for its amazing dining halls. The student body’s diversity is matched only by its diversity of food. There are vegan, vegetarian, kosher, halal, meat-lover and late-night munchy choices for everyone. With all of these options on campus, why is it so impossible […]
Humor
A tale for all ages
This may not be true for everyone, but the majority of people I’ve talked to have understood the situation. Remember in nursery school, or even kindergarten when you were asked the all-important question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting at my […]
Humor
Greece drops Euro to adopt URos
Narrowly avoiding default on its most recent debt, it is rumored that Greece has decided it is in the country’s best interest to search for a new currency. The remaining countries in the Eurozone are quite pleased, calling this event the “Grexit.”An official from Germany who has requested to remain anonymous stated, “We are delighted […]
Humor
The merits of the long game
“There are many fish in the sea.” OK, I can concede that this is a stupid and overused line but it’s at least accurate, and in the context of a college campus where there are thousands of singles yearning for romance, it can become a mantra. The problem is, there are even more ways of […]
Humor
Physicist’s curiosity believed to have killed Schrodinger’s cat
A box found on the mantle in a recent estate sale of the newly-deceased, long-lost grandchild of Erwin Schrodinger was recently put up for auction. Knowing the potential significance, a world renowned physicist—who has preferred to remain anonymous due to safety after potential death threats from animal rights activists—chose to purchase the item. The box […]
Humor
Cold war heats up
Temperatures met a universal high this summer with July as the hottest month in recorded history, as well for the University of Rochester; students are still struggling with the deadly heat. Naive freshmen who brought only one fan along with their laundry hampers, flat screen TVs and cheap fridges are now paying the price. As […]
Humor
Tapingo creates aura of confusion
Tapingo, the new app that allows students to order menu items online before picking them up in person, has presented pronunciation problems around campus. “To-pay-and-go,” one student said quickly. “Topay-andgo.” “Topayn-go.” “Ta-payngo.” “Tapingo.” “Get it?! Because you pay, and then you go!” A more popular pronunciation of this new marvel is “Tap-‘n-go,” or a shortened, […]
Humor
A treatment for freshmanitis: Some tips for freshman year
Freshmanitis is an extremely contagious and potentially lethal condition if left untreated. However, as someone who has personally experienced this crippling disease, I have a few remedies that may ease some of the symptoms. Notice how I didn’t mention that the disease is curable. It has been the consensus of many scientists that freshmanitis generally […]
Humor
Seligman speechless before Convocation
Loosening his blue-and-yellow diamond-patterned necktie and easing comfortably into his leather wingback armchair, UR President Joel Seligman was shaken out of his brief pre-Convocation respite by the realization that he had forgotten to compose his speech. Seligman groaned, digging the bases of his palms into his temples. He glanced at his watch: 20 minutes until […]
