Humor
UR Joking
8 ways to make friends during a pandemic (#4 will SHOCK you!)
In these unprecedented, never-before-seen, new, foreign, unexplored times of quarantine, it’s more important than ever to remember that humans are social creatures. Read More
UR Joking
What to do with your Campus Times stickers
Here at UR, in an effort to be ever better and ever quirkier, several students have asked how to make this new merch really shine. Thus, here are a couple ideas on how to rep the CT brand (but not like all those other stickerers). Read More
UR Joking
Drink to the future: How one student became a psychic
So how did Noah Dafuture, a UR junior, gain his psychic powers? Dafuture attributes his success to drinking the mysterious liquid found inside a Magic 8 Ball. Read More
UR Joking
The beeping revolution: A timeline of events
The alarms became more and more regular. Soon enough they were ringing every day in Wilco. There were endless complaints. They had no idea how much ruin was in store for us all. Read More
UR Joking
Tips and tricks to acquire a declining daddy
Success is not guaranteed. Results may vary. Talk to your Doctor (Chatbot) if you think a Declining Daddy may be right for you. Read More
Satire
Help! My professor is an AI
It all began to add up. I wondered if it was possible for the University to outsource our learning to an AI that was capable of teaching a course. Read More
UR Joking
Junior sets prestigious record for amount of student organization rejections
As of this semester, a Rochester junior has successfully been rejected from all 359 clubs and organizations on campus. Chad Spike, who wished to remain anomalous, spent three years getting kicked out, turned away, and barred entry from literally every organization on campus. Read More
Popcorn
How the Boy Scouts failed nine year old me
You may or may not know this, but the Cub Scouts have their own version of Girl Scout cookies. For the non-suburbanites, they call it Boy Scout popcorn. Read More
UR Joking
Mystery upstairs: What’s that noise?
I swear I’m returning to a primitive amoeba-like state now that all my classes are virtual. We’re only three weeks in and already I’m going crazy. Read More
Satire
Dr. Chatbot sued, loses medical license
In early February, Dr. Chatbot was arrested and indicted on over 10,000 counts of malpractice. Due to the doctor’s uncanny ability to change their appearance seemingly at will, and therefore their ability to slip past monitoring systems, they were deemed a flight risk and detained in cells across the web. Read More
