April Fools
a discussion
UR College Republicans protest Trump admin’s threats to free speech
"College Republicans around the country have spent the better part of a decade professing their absolute commitment to free speech, so why would we be silent now?" said the president of the club. Read More
April Fools
Bird Flu? I sure hope they did!
We asked her if she’s ever seen one of these species fly before, when they wanted to, of course. Duck let out a nervous chuckle and flushed bright red, fidgeting in her chair. Read More
April Fools
I do, I don’t, I really don’t: The Marriage Pact story
Once again, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that this school is goddamn tiny, and do you really want to marry anyone you took Calculus with? Read More
April Fools
Weeding out space problems
The administration is using gated up rooms in Spurrier and Todd Union for the cultivation of high-quality recreational marijuana. Read More
April Fools
Dr. Olidamra’s commitment to benefiting armadillo research
“Yeah, he’s a bit... weird about his armadillos,” Deckham added, awkwardly shuffling his feet. “Like, he talks to them. A lot.” Read More
April Fools
BREAKING: Campus Times staff resigns seemingly all at once
This schedule was interrupted Sunday March 30, when seven elected staff members suddenly declared their immediate resignations from the newspaper. Read More
April Fool's
This is not a joke.
This is not a joke. This is no laughing matter. It’s not intended to be funny or perhaps even humorous. I’m serious in everything that I’m saying right now. Read More
April Fool's
Climate, don’t change
How would you feel if every day, people told you that they can’t appreciate you for who you are? You’d want to change too! Read More
April Fools
In Memoriam, Freddy D.
Months went by. Freddy D. seemingly disappeared from the minds and memories of many. Then one day, I had a Carrie Bradshaw moment. Read More
April Fool's
The very hungry (brain)worm
So, in other words, I deal with the understanding of language, and boy, do I like to fiddle. I’m what makes you read “I scream” as “ice cream,” “I see cream” as “ice cream,” “onion beans” as “ice cream.” Read More
