Archives - John Pinto

The humanities fun zone

I’ve curated this little section to be a playground for my fellow Humanities majors. Enjoy, and remember: STEM people don’t know how to read! Read More

Finding my way with Google Earth

Instead of having friends when I started high school, I played around in Google Earth. When you’re starting to leave childhood behind and are terminally unsure of yourself, exploring the world from a safe distance is empowering and comforting. Google Earth was colorful, expansive, safe, and as models of buildings became more widespread, occasionally even […]

Heroic Late Night Doug worker goes another weekend without killing any students

“God has abandoned Late Night, that’s for sure. He’s off the clock for those hours.” Read More

New study finds majority of Eastman students are three chandeliers piled inside a trench coat

Professors are admitting that, in hindsight, the study’s findings should have been obvious from the start. Read More

Choose your own blizzard/nor’easter/geostorm

Use a SAD Lamp? Attend a wedding? Wear an obscenely expensive coat? Devour a classmate? In this Choose Your Own Adventure Game, it's all up to you! Read More

Student unaware exam mistakes are changing laws of the universe

The first-year’s eldritch ignorance first came to attention when a faulty use of the buoyancy equation sunk every vessel in the South China Sea. Read More

Michael Bublé Emerges From Year-Long Hibernation In Egg To Judge Mankind

The 43-year old Canadian crooner was seen last Sunday dividing up a crowd of Vancouver Starbucks patrons by their moral purity. Read More

Incoming Student Upset That No Professor Has Come Forward as His Nemesis Yet

A First-year is disappointed that no professor has come forward as his nemesis. The legacy student arrived on campus this semester hoping that adversity in the form of opposition to his academic success would inspire him to be ever better. Read More

Choose your own Commencement

You see a fun article on the Campus Times website. Do you want to read it? Yes (proceed to article) or No (proceed to article anyway) Read More

5K Challenge winner announced

The winning proposal in the annual 5K Challenge triumphed over ideas such as massage chairs and ski pants, despite having been submitted in crayon on the back of a pizza box. Read More