Archives - Chris Horgan
Ed Observers
Let it snow…
The snow is gone now, and everyone is rejoicing, but I actually like the snow and don’t mind the cold weather all that much either. After all, if it weren’t for the cold, how would snowmen eat ice-bergers for dinner? Or Frosted Flakes for breakfast? Don’t get me wrong, I too am excited for some […]
Humor
The life of a raindrop, as written by a raindrop
From the clouds I fall, like a skydiver without a parachute. I’m the equivalent of a human-daredevil, except there’s no risk in a failed landing, unless you end up in a field of cow manure. I’ve been everywhere in the world, except at most deserts. We’re told to stay away from deserts because that’s where […]
Humor
Student Profile: Michael Kaplan (’17)
Michael was born in a log cabin that he built by himself. At the age of two, he successfully completed Oregon Trail without ever having to ford the river. At three, he defeated the Elite Four in Pokemon with a single Magikarp, which didn’t have any attacking moves. At four, Michael got himself lost in […]
Sex and the CT
Ask Chris: Making your love life a piece of cake
My boyfriend has taken to calling me muffin and cupcake, but I hate it. How do I tell him? I intend to, like bread, rise to the occasion and give you some great advice, as I have seen a very similar situation play out recently. After all, it’s the yeast I can do. Personally, I […]
Humor
A reply to the man who is stranded on a boat: I found your letter
A reply to lost-at-sea Herman's letter. Read More
Sex and the CT
Ask Chris: Lovers, partners, and pairs, oh my
Editor’s Note: Professor Estrada was not feeling well this week, so one of our staff decided to step in and share his own words of wisdom. Dear Chris, How do I insistently ask a girl out on a date? – Nervous Michael First, ask the girl if she is interested in getting dinner with […]
Humor
A look at people in history who deserve some credit
I just finished watching “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer”, and I think the McGraw-Hill textbooks really missed some important facts about Lincoln. Thanks to Lincoln, the United States avoided a huge vampire takeover. Why is this overlooked? The 16th president deserves some credit—after all, he saved the entire country from one real pain in the neck. […]
Humor
Fictitious letter from a man stranded in Atlantic
Call me Ishmael. Just kidding, my name is Herman. Whomever reads this message that I have put into a bottle, I am stranded out in the middle of the Atlantic, and I can guarantee that you and I are not in the same boat. I ran out of Doritos about an hour ago and all […]
