Archives - Chris Horgan
Satire
Poking fun at the news: Affluenza, extraterrestrials and Sanders tattoos
Another case of affluenza has been reported in Tarrant County, Texas. Doctors say that it isn’t contagious, but can be passed down from parent to child. Read More
Satire
Poking fun at the news: Empty planes and missing cats
After takeoff, a Chinese woman found that she was the only passenger on the plane. It was swell, until she realized that the pilots were missing as well. Read More
Satire
The earth is flat, and other B.o.B.-isms
As you were preoccupied with work, rapper B.o.B. suggested that the Earth wasn’t round. He then supported his statements with debunked theories to prove why. Read More
Satire
And the rest isn’t history
I thought I might share with you the knowledge that I have acquired while being enrolled in Fictional History 101. Read More
Humor
A tourist’s guide to Washington D.C.
I’ve been in Washington D.C., the political capital of the world, for a couple of months now participating in an internship through the University. With this in mind, I’ve seen every famous tourist site, and have gained valuable insight from each visit. This article contains none of that insight. Nevertheless, here is a brief detailing […]
Humor
Advice for those who need it
Right now, a bunch of seniors are preparing to graduate, and they are probably asking themselves, “Where did the time go?” This is a good question. A question they probably aren’t asking is, “Hey, I wonder if Chris has any advice for the real world?” Well, if you didn’t ask that question, then I have […]
Humor
Dear Chris: Common problems asked and answered
Dear Chris: I’m in this class and I absolutely love it. However, there aren’t any other classes related to it so this will be it. What should I do? -From, Passionate Chris: Well, when people are really in love with something, they will do crazy things. That’s why I say that you should just try […]
Humor
To be or not to be a fan of the Buffalo Sabres
I’m in a seat, surrounded by 18,690 strangers with one thing in common. We want what’s best for Buffalo Sabres hockey. Notice, though that I didn’t say we wanted the Sabres to win. Tonight is one of the last home games of the season against a talented Chicago Blackhawks squad. The Sabres have found themselves […]
Humor
A riddle: who am I?
I sent you to the hospital. Who knew burns could be so damaging? On top of this, they even suggested I poisoned you. Your atmosphere is dwindling, I suppose that is my fault too. An apology will have no worth, since I let your garden wizen. As for the murder, that was me. Your snowman […]
Humor
Campus Times takes a chance on unexperienced copy editors
A new caste of copy editors was added to the prestigious CT this weekend, the group includes foreign exchange student, Francois Chaud 17’, who notes that he is unable to read or right in English, and Michael Kaplanoff ’17, The group is the first in over twenty years to begin editing without learning the style […]
