Archives - Aaron Schaffer
Humor
Poll finds more students wear CT than read CT
An internal Campus Times poll conducted campus-wide has revealed “startling” information about the changing nature of news in the 21st century. According to the poll, the majority of the wearership of CT issues comes from the sororities and fraternities on campus. According to anonymous sources, members of an unnamed sorority enjoy “getting crafty and dressing […]
Humor
Starbucks to add ‘ambient’ lighting
Sunday morning, UR’s Starbucks representative, Ven T. Verona, announced that Starbucks would be removing the lights found in their Wilson Commons location to “embrace an ethos that is spreading across America”. Starbucks is of course referring to the outbreak of so-called “boutique coffee shops” known for their “adorably” small servings and dimly lit, homey cafes. […]
Humor
Objective study finds that UR Concerts has worst musical taste on campus
An objective study released by the Office of the Dean of Students asserts that UR Concerts, the student organization whose role is to bring musical performers to campus, has the worst taste of any funded group by the UR Student Association. The study’s objectivity was authenticated by the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Affairs Tuesday […]
Humor
Campus Times receives ‘award’
Early Monday morning, UR President Joel Seligman announced that the Campus Times had received “an award.” Though the award credits all the sections of the paper, it highlights the CT’s pitch-perfect ethics and opinions section. The award also credits various editors, who remain unnamed, for not including header lines on the tops of their pages. […]
News
President Seligman reappointed President
UR President Joel Seligman has been reappointed in his current position. Seligman is “delighted by the reappointment.” He states that, “There are very few opportunities one can experience in life quite so meaningful as this.” Seligman has been University President since 2005. University Presidents serve indefinite terms at the pleasure of the Board of Trustees, […]
Features
Rochester’s male elite convene at historic ‘Club’
UR is home to an obscure literary club: The Pundits. Founded in 1854, the group is informally known as the Club. The group’s first meeting was held in the home of Lewis Henry Morgan. The Club’s most prolific contributor was UR President Martin Brewer Anderson; he delivered 37 papers over a period of 33 years. […]
Ed Observers
Apathy grips UR
As a newspaper, the Campus Times strives to report, as factually and completely as possible, on issues relevant to our campus as a whole. For years, the University has been living with a problem that transcends, as clichéd as it may sound, time and administration. The problem I am alluding to, of course, is apathy […]
News
Trustees approve five-year Strategic Plan
On Oct. 11, the University Board of Trustees approved the Strategic Plan for 2013-18, which outlines UR’s vision for the next five years. Drafted by President Joel Seligman and Provost and Dean of Faculty Peter Lennie, the plan is a comprehensive framework detailing goals to strengthen UR’s position as a leader in research, implementation of […]
Humor
Rocky resigns after public indecency, stinging spree
Late Sunday, Oct. 13, peace officers arrested Rocky the mascot for public indecency. According to the police report, Rocky was “drunk beyond recognition” and had to be pepper gelled by Director of Public Safety Walter Mauldin himself after attempting “inappropriate conduct under the clock tower.” University President Joel Seligman reportedly tried to use the 3D […]
News
SA approves Blue Crew
The Students’ Association Senate approved BlueCrew as a club at its meeting on Monday, Oct. 14. The approval came after BlueCrew’s appeal of the Policy & Review Committee’s decision last semester to deny the club final status. BlueCrew is a self-described “bottoms-up” organization with numerous ties to Senate. Senator-at-Large and junior Vanessa Sanchez is BlueCrew’s […]
